tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-157923242024-03-07T16:18:33.608-08:00Mamaw's World<center>The Lord is my Shepherd I Shall Not want,<br>
He maketh me to lie down in Green Pastures,<br>
He leadeth me beside the stillwaters.
Psalms 23:1-2</center>Kristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05853224926925246750noreply@blogger.comBlogger1654125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-1979816043205561242015-05-26T21:46:00.000-07:002015-05-26T21:46:42.357-07:00Stones, Life and RoadwaysThank God, Charles is OK. He just passed a kidney stone. Now that son of mine is not ever sick, I mean really sick. Oh when he was born he was deathly ill, as in 50/50 chance of surviving.<br />
God gave him 100%. As the years progressed, he would get a little fever and begin to hallucinate. He always came in and slept on the foot of my bed when he was sick. <br />
Oh how I miss those days, those days of being able to help and rub foreheads, of adding a cool damp towel to the head that ached, and was known to check their temp several times a night. Mostly I miss kneeling by that bed and praying for them. Having that Mama and Daddy touch. <br />
Now we kneel and pray and know God is still on his throne.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow we plan on leaving Red Bluff for YC. Returning on Sunday and leaving out again on Tuesday for Seattle. I think we are doing pretty good on taking one day at a time.<br />
Maybe we will leave early and get to " Seven Feathers" and spend a night or two. Maybe make it to Cottage Grove Oregon, That sweet town has More covered bridges than anywhere we have traveled plus they have a motel with more gardens than I have seen. Each one is a theme. I always get ideas there.<br />
<br />
OH OH OH, One of the tenants here, had lights on a tree by his space. We were in awe. They were awesome. We stood at 10 pm and tried to figure out why we could see no wires. <br />
Morning came and I met him at his Motor Home. I asked, "May I ask you a question."<br />
He smiled and said, "NO" <br />
I said, "OK I will anyway, I am arkie and I talk a lot and I must know" <br />
What are those lights on your tree. They are amazing, we looked up again and still no wires.<br />
He then showed us his Laser light. It shines on the tree, from the ground and appears to be little lights walking all over the tree. In fact it appeared they were climbing the tree.<br />
Yep I have already looked them up on the Internet. His were blue. I found blue and mostly I find red and green for holidays. <br />
Blue it is, as soon as I am sure the money is there to cover them and I do not feel like I am wasting money.<br />
So many things to talk about on this journey. Remember I said, "Originally this was a trip, Now it is a journey, a journey of trust, faith and Love. <br />
God is good to us. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-22039171023859619942015-05-16T15:54:00.001-07:002015-05-26T21:24:11.945-07:00DancingEcclesiastes 3:1-4<br />
<br />
Good reasons to wake each day. It is time to dance. <br />
As David and I sat by the fire pit at Durango RV Resort, I had an idea.<br />
Suddenly I hummed the first musical notes of Bobby Vinton, "Love How You Love Me"<br />
BTW that is OUR song. <br />
I looked at David, he smiled, we rose and began to dance, with me singing the words softly.<br />
Yeah Let the whole camp watch, We are still in Love after 52 years and sometime Love can burst out of our hearts!!!! <br />
It was a beautiful moment in our travels and we think of it every time we see the pits burning.<br />
You must go on line to view this Resort. You dont even have to leave your spot, just sit down and watch the river go by, walk among the MANY MANY motor homes and no two with the same name.<br />
We are surrounded by Lavender, Red and white Roses, several varities of Lillies, Honeysuckle, Jasmine, Bottle Brush plants, groves of beautiful trees, Trees I am trying to find the name of so I can plant them in OKlahoma. There is a huge pool and spa, massage parlor and many people to meet. IN fact you know us, we go and talk to most of them. We met one amazing couple that were so much fun to visit. She is a rock hound. TRuly, she had lots of polished rock. Every time she handed me one of her BEAUTIFUL ROCKS or jewelry pieces, I cringed. I am sometime clumsy. Some of the rocks you could see through. AMAZING<br />
<br />
When I invited them to stop to see us in Ramona she literally jumped and bounced on the sofa. She was so happy. She is Laura, he is David. They are just a little older than our oldest child. <br />
I realized that as we sat at dinner, Suddenly I look at David, my David and say, "Hon they are about our childrens age" <br />
We all laughed as we all felt like old friends. They are from Vacaville.<br />
Yesterday, Sharon and Bob from Grass Valley then we met A really young couple with two Home Schooled kids from Bakersfield area. We had a great visit and he told us how to get through Bakersfield to our camp.<br />
He is an oil field worker, wait not a worker, an enviornmental consultant.<br />
How we loved watching the kids play. <br />
<br />
Now we are here on a Saturday and just vegetating. <br />
Learning how to totally unwind and relax. I am getting pretty good at it for the time being.<br />
I better relax, my new home needs lots of TLC.David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-37701328769382528352015-05-16T15:30:00.002-07:002015-05-26T21:24:59.310-07:00I'm Tired, I'm wornI can not believe I have been living in a motor home for over a month. It is so different than anything I ever did or wanted to do. A camping I could go, but to live, Na Not so much.<br />
By thursday we will know if the house we bid on has been appraised and how much????? <br />
It is a 3 bedroom, two horrible baths and almost 1500 sq feet.<br />
Horrible baths??? We plan to rip them out anyway. We must have handicapped access to more than is available in this house. House? Yes it is a house but it will soon become a HOME.<br />
Lots of paint, accessorizing, knocking out walls, and pro help and I will be good.<br />
See I know I can do all this, but do I want to???<br />
Of course I do, I love changes, Now IF I CAN just get David to go sit outside somehwere while I do this I will be good.<br />
See the problem is, David can not help with much and I am the energizer bunny.<br />
OH I get tired and I STOP. <br />
He however can not handle my energy. He feels useless. I call him sweetheart turn and grit my teeth.<br />
I married him for better or worse, in sickness and in health. He took great care of me and our children, He was and is a Great Dad and Husband. With his health declining, I am sad and mad and not sure at times who I am,, where I belong or if I belong. So see this has put a useless tag on me too.<br />
<br />
Once I get to decorating and designing our home I will snap back.<br />
<span style="color: red;">I Can Do All ThingS Through Christ, (who always has my back) who strenghtens me</span>.David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-14403587753067761212015-05-16T15:17:00.000-07:002015-05-26T21:26:41.692-07:00Let Me Tell YouA lot of things, You may or may not know.<br />
On Tuesday we drove to YC, Two of our grandchildren were in a spelling bee. <br />
Kiara won for her school, April Lane, Caylum won for his school Gray avenue.<br />
OH MY GOSH. We got there just in time, Our Son, Ken saved us a seat and we were able to give the kids a "Go Get Them Kiddos!!"<br />
Last year Cay went to State. He finished in the top 20 in the state. <br />
This year he made it to round 2. Kiara went to round 2. <br />
Before going she kept saying, "I AM GOING TO BEAT CAYLUM"<br />
Well as it turned out this year the words were big and difficult. They both missed by an A in their words., She got the word Correspondence, she used and A instead of an E.<br />
He got the word, Rendezvous, he put an A instead of an E.<br />
I say Coincidence or Fate. <br />
They both did wonderful and Cay knew as soon as the A was out of his mouth is was wrong. <br />
Kiara hesitated on her A. So they both knew.<br />
You know winning is not everything, They made it to county, that is something I never did. I think I could have and David was really great at spelling and he still is. Me not so much. <br />
Ken and Charles and Sheri, (our children) are all very good at spelling and Ken excels in Math, Sheri exceled in English, Charles was great in both. Our neighbor wanted him to help her son Rick Belk in the subjects. <br />
<br />
Now onto other news, We signed a contract to sell the house several weeks ago.<br />
All this should have already been done but just yesterday they asked for a Water test. <br />
Yes we are on a well. NO ONE in Churn Creek bottom has ever, (to our knowledge) had a water problem as in Iron, Chloric or E coli. So now we wait on that. We should have been handing keys over on Monday. <br />
Then we get another termite inspection. Get this, it is on a 45 year old garage. OH MY GOSH.<br />
They wanted the house, the unattached work shop was a bonus. a MIL quarter, a teens hang out, a storage shop. Whatever. And we had done a lot of work on it when we bought the land. <br />
Now we have to do more. Maybe the buyer and agents can absorb some of that expense. Hope so. <br />
Dang. It is OLD and decrepit like us. <br />
<br />
We have given away so much and sold so much, if it drops out of escrow, (someone slap me) we will have to go out and buy a new <span style="color: red;">Mustang</span>, HA HA. More power equipment, All our lawn tools. <br />
NO I will NOT think negatively, God is in control. <br />
And believe it or not, I lie down at night and rest knowing he is guiding us every day.<br />
Regardless of the outcome, we will be OK. David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-42026908843818799192015-02-22T10:04:00.000-08:002015-05-26T21:28:08.322-07:00Work to DoWe had a friend come out to help us out yesterday. His work is impeccable. Me on the other hand wants to go out and help him out. <br />
David reminds me, "That is why I hired him"<br />
Oh our previous helper, He is in school and some of <strong><u>this work has to be carpentry. </u></strong><br />
<strong><u>Bill has helped build houses.</u></strong><br />
Not one minute does he waste. Always on the go and besides that he used his push mower to clear the front yard. I told him he could use the tractor but he declined. He likes pushing his mower. OK Whatever.<br />
I went out and bought gas and a tank of propane to burn the pile with. We have a huge burn pile. Not one I want to do, So Bill gets to do that.<br />
I can pull all the haul away out and get it stacked for, again I say haul away. <br />
I can spray the grass at fence edge. I can move the trellis.<br />
If only I could get David out of here to go take a hike or something, then I am free to hurry and get it done. <br />
He watches me like a hawk.<br />
On Wednesday we get a new pool pump, I want to move the old one back to the hot tub, I can do that and save about $95. Alas I have a hawk watching every move I make. <br />
I want to spray inside the pool fence. I can do that. <br />
So much I can do to save money. David is sometime a JERK. I Love this jerk but can he just let me do as I want??????<br />
His response, "Cant you just let me make one decision?"<br />
Me, "No your decisions cost more money"<br />
<br />
Now we wait, wait, wait on the appraisal. I sure hope all this work is doing something good. As in getting me ahead of the curve. I have loads of crates packed and need to pack more. <br />
I am being very careful with my glassware. I want Madi to get my 53 year old dishes in tact. Madi I got them when I was 15 and Papaw and I used them on anniversaries, birthdays, etc. then our family grew and I did not have enough so they became something we looked at. I have slowly added missing pieces through Replacements LTD. <br />
Again, each piece is being wrapped safely, but I must get out and buy more bubble wrap.<br />
So that is one thing I can do.<br />
That and Cough, Cough, cough, I was tempted to get out of bed at 1:30 and drive into Anderson to get something, anything, I even took a swig of Cognac. YUCK, that tasted like paint thinner. <br />
I wanted the coughing to stop and I heard that would help. It did not!!!!!!!<br />
But Alas, I stayed in bed and coughed my lungs out until morning. <br />
<br />David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-74651830956733831762015-02-08T12:29:00.000-08:002015-02-08T12:31:04.401-08:00Good LordIt has been a long time since I posted. What has been happening?<br />
Not a lot, other then seeing changes each day. Losses of loved ones, Friends being there for you, Family drifting and OH Yes my cousin, Jim Ed Brown producing another single. <br />
Neighbors you take for granted but who always keep a watchful eye out. (I asked them to watch if David came out to work) <br />
So much. <br />
As of January, my endocrinologist has told me to stay off work until we get my thyroid hormones under control. He has kept them really high, (on purpose) To make sure no thyroid cancer cells left the area of their habitation.<br />
Sounds weird to me.<br />
However as he put me off work, the house has sold. <br />
Why am I not jumping for joy? I am tired, Tired, tired. Hence the reason I do not work.<br />
If I can not work and get paid, How can I work here and pack?<br />
Good question..<br />
I have slowly moved items to the rec room for selling, However it looks like a junk pile.<br />
The other rooms, on the other hand are looking quite empty.<br />
Except!!!!!!<br />
The living area, I have piled all my photo albums on the table, with the full intention of putting stray photos in them, but alas they lay in piles, with the photo box (overflowing ) on the floor beside the table. <br />
That has been the home for two weeks.<br />
I open my bowl cabinet today and suddenly realize, "WHY DOES ANYONE NEED SO MANY BOWLS?" A four foot upper cabinet with 4 shelves, all full. <br />
I still have the first stainless steel bowls from my first mixer.<br />
My Mamas green bowls, (which go to my daughter) my bowls I love to eat cereal from and our set of clear bowls, just because, Oh yeah, Two sets of just because bowls. My really old bowls with the side lips on them. Green and white with small etched flowers. <br />
Now lets not get to the ones that go with sets of dishes. Dang!!!!!<br />
Double Dang!!!!<br />
I want to get to YC to see my grandbabies. Gosh when I think of them I tear up. <br />
I tear up when I think of anything, anybody or nothing at all. (Like my mind is never busy)<br />
Dang again.<br />
So now you have a post. I have a post and I am still thinking and sweating.<br />
Dang I detest these hormones. <br />
Must get busy, Anyone want to help????David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-10717296748386674622014-11-30T10:26:00.002-08:002015-02-08T12:32:47.924-08:00My MomWhy do I have such a tough time when I recall all my Mom's trials.<br />
Yes she had trials but she never failed to kiss my Dad good morning. (He was a kisser)<br />
He called her Baby or Darling. (I have that on record as told to me and Sheri in 1986.)<br />
He sat down in his recliner and she brought him a cup of coffee.<br />
In his last days he spent most of his time in Pajamas.<br />
She was waiting on him and scared, knowing his time was probably short.<br />
I can still see his face as she handed him his coffee. His smile and Thank You.<br />
<br />
They had communication and it was usually funny, (sometimes they fussed) but my favorite is seeing their two chairs, side by side with a lamp table between. That table held a lamp, two cups of coffee and their hands as they reached across to hold hands.<br />
<br />
Yes my Mama took care of my dad for a while. (In her words, Not long enough)<br />
If he began passing out she was right on the floor beside him, getting his nitro and cradling his head.<br />
<br />
He died two weeks after I turned 11.<br />
<br />
God I missed him so much, BUT I had a Mama that was always there.<br />
She was at our bedside when we became ill, She was up in the middle of the night praying when she knew things were out of order.<br />
She sat up until we came home from Dates.<br />
She taught us to be self sufficient, (girls).<br />
She taught us to ALWAYS freshen up before our husbands came home from work.<br />
She told me, (Comb your hair and put on a fresh dress)<br />
Mama was always well kept.<br />
She ALWAYS prayed for God to let her live to raise her children.<br />
He did just that.<br />
She ALWAYS prayed she would not die alone.<br />
(Not one more person could have crowded in her room, as she took her last breath)<br />
God answered that prayer.<br />
<br />
So today I am missing her but I have her teaching in my heart,<br />
I have her example of holding hands, kissing occasionally, slow dancing in the kitchen, (Not Mama but Daddy would have loved to) He loved music and dance.<br />
He loved to laugh Loud and Long, (just like my Charles)<br />
He loved practical jokes. (I do that occasionally)<br />
I see her up early making the coffee and a big pan of Hot Fresh Biscuits.<br />
<br />
Yes Mama was my guide and I will never forget her guidance.<br />
Love is what you make it, or what makes you.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-58469850500126039132014-11-27T20:44:00.001-08:002014-11-27T20:44:47.361-08:00A Dollar of ChristmasThe year 1957, My Mama had more money to go around. That year she gave each of us kids 50 cents or a dollar. I cant quite remember. I do however recall the store we shopped.<br />
Herndon's 5 and 10 cent store. (or called The Five and Dime)<br />
We go in with our loot and spend lots of time looking for just the right gift. One of us got her a cedar box with Sheridan Arkansas printed on it. Another got her a bottle of "Evening in Paradise" cologne.<br />
That fragrance came back to me in 2002.<br />
That was a trip of a lifetime for me. It was almost the end of my life, but that is another story.<br />
We were in the Bobby Vinton Theater and gift shop.<br />
Lots of Red Rose buds were being bought to hand to him as he sang, "Roses are Red"<br />
Of course I bought one and took it to him and got a kiss. No I did not swoon but my heart was racing. LOL<br />
Then I sampled his fragrance. "Blue Velvet"<br />
Oh MY that was an exact copy of "Evening in Paradise."<br />
I kept saying "I know this fragrance, I know it from many years ago," <br />
The clerk looked at me and asked what was it. Finally it hit my brain, <br />
"That is a fragrance from 1957, called in Evening in Paradise" OH My goodness how the memories flooded my mind.<br />
<br />
So tonight we watched "A Dollar For Christmas" <br />
The Dad only had a $ dollar saved for the holidays and it was put on a mantle so each of 5 children could take what was needed to buy a gift for the name of the family member they drew.<br />
MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
Yeah!!!! I cried most of the way through it. <br />
David came in from his shower just as one of the older boys wrapped up a used baseball glove for his younger brother. He had used linseed oil and made it like new again.<br />
Suddenly I hear sobbing coming from his chair.<br />
All I could decipher from his sobs were,<br />
"Coy always did that, He wrapped up old things for everyone in the house for Christmas. Usually an old pocket knife or something he could or would give up"<br />
More tears fell as we discussed our Christmas Past. <br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-11181799219785153352014-11-24T16:03:00.000-08:002014-11-24T16:31:55.175-08:00 ThankfulThankful? For What?<br />
So many, things. NO ONE can name them all.<br />
Right now I am wishing I could get the wonderful Sea Salt Caramel off my fingers. YUM!!!<br />
Uh OH now it is on David's Paperwork. Whoops.<br />
<br />
We were considering loading up the Motor home and Driving to YC and parking for a few days. <br />
<br />
But instead we began lots of needed work, <br />
Today began with yard work. LOTs of work, I was (Was) just going to mow outside the fence and beside the HUGE Walnut tree, but I just kept going and going and going., You know, Like the energizer Bunny.<br />
I cut out a huge mulberry stump, I trimmed up the Privet hedge. I mowed the front yard, I even blew millions of leaves out of the rock border, (with my mower).<br />
David in the meantime was trying to burn our pile of debris.<br />
<br />
And This is Thanksgiving Week!!!<br />
<br />
When you live on 6 acres, You need lots of trimming and burning and cleaning up.<br />
Our lawn boy has not called or shown up in a while but that is OK, We are doing fine. May not move a muscle tomorrow but at least some of our work is done.<br />
And this is Thanksgiving Week!!<br />
<br />
So what do you do what at 2:30 in the morning you wake with a song from childhood stirring your brain?<br />
I tried to shake it off, I tried to turn it down but Little Jeanette's voice was still singing,<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;">"How Far is Heaven, </span></u></em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;">When can I go, </span></u></em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;">To see my Daddy,</span></u></em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;"> He's there I know,</span></u></em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;">How far is Heaven</span></u></em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;">lets go tonight,</span></u></em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;">I want my Daddy to Hold me tight</span></u></em></strong>."</div>
<br />
When we first sang that I was about 11 and she was about 6. We let her take the lead on the chorus as it was so fitting to our life. I always wept as I saw the tears in her eyes as she sang. <br />
Yes I grew up singing in church. <br />
We, The Brown girls sang at nearly every service. <br />
Our Mama was so proud. We only wished Daddy could have heard us, and Maybe he did.<br />
That song has followed me all day. As I mowed, As I used the chain saw, As I threw debris on the fire.<br />
(Debris which kicked back on me and now I have a bloody lip)<br />
However If David is out working I am RIGHT beside him. <br />
<br />
So This is Thanksgiving week<br />
All this is what I am so thankful for, Without this the rest would not be here. <br />
That is what I am most thankful for. I still have my Love in my life. We are each others best friend and after 51 years it is so important to daily functioning. <br />
I think of him, He thinks of me. I worry about him, He checks on me.<br />
Every fiber of our being is here for each other <br />
<br />
<strong><em><span style="color: red;">So How far is Heaven,? </span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: red;"> Its only a Prayer Away, A heartbeat away. A breath away.</span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-13163786722932853732014-10-21T13:52:00.001-07:002014-10-21T14:05:57.703-07:00LONG timeIt has been so long since I posted, I am not sure what to discuss.<br />
OK we bought a 30 foot Fleetwood 50th anniversary edition Motor Home.<br />
We took a beautiful trip to the REDWOODS and two more trips to Lassen.<br />
Yep we Love the open road and I am taller then anyone else when I am behind that wheel.<br />
I feel in control. LOL LOL<br />
My treatment for the year is over with no big hitches. So if that is true Why is he seeing me every 6 months? <br />
Why blood work every 6 months? <br />
Why did I get a horrible infection in my mouth from it, I had a yeast infection or thrush as the old people used to call it. My tongue felt bigger than my mouth,<br />
<br />
David is good. He loves taking long walks. LONG walks.<br />
So today after having a bunch of skin cancers burned off his face and neck, we went to the Sundial bridge, We took that long walk but forgot to carry water. UH OH I am a dried up old woman with no water to drink. I may add, the walk is beside the Sacramento River, and I thought.<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><strong><em>"Water, Water, Everywhere and not a drop to drink"</em></strong></span><br />
The gardens always inspire me, but selling this house leaves much to be done.<br />
Who cares if I have a great earthy garden. Who cares if it is a yellow garden, Native garden, Red garden or whatever. As long as I plug it into the ground it grows. <br />
<br />
Now I sit here wondering how my children are doing? <strong>See, my sons never call</strong>, Ken called every week before his own life fell to pieces and he is still putting pieces together. <br />
He knows "There is going to be a glorious unfolding" <br />
My daughter is weekly faithful to call. She knows we need a little communication. <br />
I guess I am just nosy but I must know all is well or I feel all is NOT well. <br />
<br />
With us, we never know what the day will bring but I know I must get out there and begin mowing the yards. Rains have set in and now we need to burn our huge pile of limbs.<br />
Rambling? Yeah, lot of that. Not really much to report here but exhaustion and unsure of our future. <br />
<br />
Now I must think of something to cook. I detest cooking, could be why I am down to 120 lbs. I just don't like food that much. Maybe I need someone else to cook for me. <br />
Now I know what my Mama meant when she said that. And my Mama was a great cook.<br />
Which brings me to the point of "I sure miss my family" <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-39332825235834494762014-08-01T19:32:00.002-07:002014-10-21T14:13:44.682-07:00HopeA spark can start a fire<br />
A shot can start a war<br />
A breeze can start a wave<br />
That crashes on the shore<br />
Hope...hope can change everything<br />
<br />
Hope is gone or so far down it is unseeable, un redeemable, unknown,<br />
I have to dig up to climb up to hope. <br />
My Hope for tomorrow is gone, My enthusiasm is diminishing by day.<br />
Why? Why? <br />
Because we are not sure where we are wanted or needed. Maybe it should just be what we want and nothing else.<br />
Right??? <strong><span style="color: blue;">Wrong.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">I have never or will never put me first.</span> </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: black;">So off I go to work every day I can and have a little change for someone else.</span></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>OH last day I worked I promoted liquor. Yeah ME, That was my job. So I read all I could on Captain Morgan, Ketel One Vodka, Baileys Irish cream, Johnnie walker Red and Black Label., lets not leave our Crown Royal. Sold 12 of those to one customer. Tanqueray Gin, again, sold a LOT. sold in lots of 6, not sure why they buy so much. </strong><br />
<strong>Cirno vodka flavored with Peaches. </strong><br />
<strong> We had imports from all over the world. When asked did I drink I say "NO" but I do cook and bake with liquor, I pointed out uses for Rum, Baileys and I make my own Vanilla Flavorings with Vodka. All true and I nave never touched hard liquor.</strong><br />
<strong>However I put on my black sheath dress, my black tights, black boots and gold eye liner and I looked like a bar maid. </strong><br />
<strong>When asked why I was doing that demo, I replied I drew the short stick. Not a big deal, I did not give out samples but got that question anyway, at least 500 times. </strong><br />
<strong>I gave the same answer each time. "You Wish", then I smiled sweetly and the customer goes, "I guess that means NO>"</strong><br />
<strong>Customers are funny. </strong>David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-85966910375593222892014-07-07T20:05:00.002-07:002014-07-07T20:05:30.201-07:00I need to post a new photo. I have great ones from the reunion. <br />
I am just too lazy to sit down and "Get Er Done"<br />
<br />
Today was quiet, we swam, we went in to get my anti anxiety pills and Now LIFE is good.<br />
<br />
Oh Yes I finally remembered Eggs, I have been out for two weeks. <br />
I wanted to bake cupcakes, NO EGGS.<br />
I made cornbread last week, NO EGGS, ( I used Mayo)<br />
It seemed to work out pretty good. David said nothing about it.<br />
<br />
<br />
Tomorrow we have biscuits, eggs and bacon, Maybe. <br />
After that I will be in the bathroom for an hour or so.<br />
(you really wanted to know that)<br />
Then we go to Red Bluff to get paid, and pick up papers for David to work on.<br />
<br />
Not a lot longer though. <br />
That is one job that really puts him in pain. <br />
Sounds easy but he has to lift his right hand to the keys, (with his left hand) then move it around with his left hand.<br />
It is time consuming, it is painful and it is not worth it. <br />
Or is it? It does keep his mind active.<br />
He has been an accountant for over 42 years and he is tired of thinking. <br />
I think it is going to be a painful job to give up. (for him, not me)<br />
<br />
Believe it or not, He LIKES THE MONEY!!!!!! Just ask him. <br />
Me???????????? I am kind of addicted to it. <br />
It is a way of life I have come to enjoy for a LONG time. <br />
Not that we had a lot but we had enough.<br />
God has been really good to us. <br />
<br />
And No we are not thrifty. We give to anyone who wants or needs it. (We do not save for a rainy day, For most people Every day is rainy)<br />
It is a Way of life for us, Not one thing has changed in 51 years.<br />
When we had no money, (when we first married) .<br />
We were often called to make food for funerals, ill people, take care of the gentleman next door, (He was horribly bent) . David took care of Brother Bryant's needs.<br />
(Did we ever tell our children of that time in our lives? Probably not, it was so long ago)<br />
We did it with a glad heart but never quite knew how we did it with less income than you can imagine. <br />
<br />
So now it is time to close and rest, I am exhausted from a day of prayer and a full night too.<br />
Prayer and sleeplessness, and horrible dreams. <br />
<br />
OH we are back to our chronological reading. It felt good.<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-38521298005067936002014-06-11T12:54:00.001-07:002014-06-11T12:54:42.756-07:00My Brother<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Harold Brown </h2>
<br />
I can not begin to tell you what he has meant to me, I am 20 months younger so he HAS ALWAYS been a part of my life until Monday June 9, 2014.<br />
<br />
Let me begin by telling you a little about his character.<br />
A character he was. Funny, Never, Never thought he was better than anyone, Always a giver, He was generous with his time and anything he had. <br />
Loved to hunt but Loved being a dad and grandpa more than any thing in the world. <br />
<br />
When we are kids you never know how much that part of you is out there. That is "Just my Brother"<br />
<br />
At the age of 12, I really took notice of Harold. <br />
We were on the school bus, I was about 10. <br />
The bus had dropped off a family of children, I think about 5 got off the bus. As they left the bus, I heard screaming, Their Dad was passed out by the wood cutting block,<br />
The entire bus load of children were looking and laughing. (I say not the entire as the Brown kids had seen their daddy pass out many times,)<br />
Rude comments proceeded out of lots of mouths, "Oh look at the old drunk, " He is so funny lying like that," Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha. The laughs could be heard by the kids that were let off the bus.<br />
<br />
Suddenly I hear a young mans voice, over the din of laughter and mockery.<br />
<br />
Harold Brown was standing in the middle of the aisle.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: red;"><strong>"Shut Up, Shut Up, That man is sick, Do NOT laugh or make fun of him, He does not even drink"</strong></span><br />
<br />
Oh my gosh, that bus quieted down, all you could see was Harold. You could have heard a pin drop on that bus, That day in 1957. <br />
I was one proud sister that day. <br />
To this day, I can still see the scrawny blond boy telling all ages to Shut UP.!!!<br />
<br />
Harold had a very Weak stomach. Mama often laughed at the men in our family being such Wimps. LOL as I say that lovingly. <br />
We always raised our own pigs, They were fed food scraps in addition to their pig food.<br />
Do not ask me what, as I never fed them. Why would I? I had 4 brothers to do that work,.<br />
<br />
Harold and Roy were supposed to feed the pig daily. As soon as Harold reached for the bucket he would begin gagging and heaving. He made it a few times, but came back vomiting.<br />
Mama usually told Roy, "You go feed the pigs, I do not want to clean up after Harold too"<br />
Or as she said, (Slop the Hog).<br />
He was always my big brother and NO ONE BETTER MESS with his little sister. <br />
Yes I knew he would stand up for me.<br />
<br />
When he was born, He cried all the time, He wanted to eat constantly. She often ran out of milk herself and had to resort to bottles. He was NOT gaining weight.<br />
One day as she was changing his diaper, Something emerged. It was a few inches long and trying to get back into the baby's rectum. Mama said, "The only thing I knew to do was pull, So I grabbed it and pulled, Praying it was not part of him"<br />
It was a tape worm. Mama placed it in a jar for the Doctor to see when he made his "Horse and Buggy rounds"<br />
The doctor never made it before the worm dried up.<br />
Harold then began eating normal and gaining weight but his first few weeks were almost all he had. Vital brain nutrition was lost to this horrible thing in this baby. The worm was attached inutero.<br />
<br />
Harold was always a great guy and that was all I knew.<br />
He had his wild years, He grew into a wild teen but always had respect for others.<br />
<br />
While I was home in May, I sat on the arm of his chair and talked for about 30 minutes. We were literally face to face many times, as I put my forehead to his.<br />
I looked down and saw the most beautiful Blue eyes, I did not know his eyes were that blue.<br />
He was my brother, How many times, as a kid, do you notice the little things?<br />
He and I cried and talked for a long while. <br />
Harold told me, "Sue I have lots and lots of tears,"<br />
I told him "Then let them go, Cry if you want to, I cry for you."<br />
His blue eyes brimmed with more tears and we wept together. <br />
He was horribly sick that day, but nothing was keeping him from being with his family. It hurt him to get out but he said, "I am gonna be here with my family" <br />
<br />
I called him from Oklahoma,<br />
He was hospitalized a day or so after I left. The 10th of May. I was ready to return to Arkansas to be with him.<br />
His response, "Sue, you get home to Kenny and those kids, they need you, I am going to be fine"<br />
We talked a while but I could tell he was getting weaker. <br />
I had my precious time with him and family. I am so proud I took my time with my family.<br />
Nothing is more precious. I knew I would not see him again, until we all get to Heaven. <br />
<br />
As I talked to him, (While he was in a coma), I sang "Amazing Grace" to him. I told him how much I love him, I know he heard me,.<br />
May said, "A tear is rolling out of his eyes"<br />
Oh How my heart broke . I called him many times, after the coma, I always took my chance to say, One more time, "I love you brother, Please wait for me, Just inside the Gates of Heaven" <br />
The last time I called was on Saturday night, I told him, "Harold I am calling to say Goodbye, I will miss you. Tell my Mama and Daddy and family, I will see them soon."<br />
<br />
I hung up for the last time and cried my heart out.<br />
He was not in Gods hands. "Sheltered in the arms of God"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-25357584497798292522014-06-04T22:01:00.000-07:002014-11-24T16:06:02.392-08:00StrawberriesFor three days I have ate nothing but Strawberries, melons, grapes, rolls and a wonderful cream cheese dip.<br />
True, I am just craving those berries. Not sure the dip is good for me but it is Good to my tummy.<br />
Today I grabbed a piece of chicken for protein, but my plate was full of fresh berries and a huge scoop of my dip.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><strong><em><u>Recipe</u></em></strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><u><span style="color: red;"></span></u></em></strong> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><strong><em><u>4 cups powder sugar, </u></em></strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><strong><em><u> 8 oz. package cream cheese ( I had softened on hand)</u></em></strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><strong><em><u>Eagle brand milk until it is your consistency. ( I like medium not dripping or firm) </u></em></strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><strong><em><u></u></em></strong></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><strong><em><u>Mix in large mixer, place in bowl and devour.</u></em></strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><strong><em><u>And devour is what I am doing.</u></em></strong></span></div>
<br />
So what have I been doing? Sleeping a lot.<br />
I have an easy way out from problems, that out is sleeping. I am sure it is a cowards way out but I cry so easily, when I think of Harold I cry, When I think of Ken or Kris I cry, When I think of that sick baby I cry, When I see David struggle, I cry. Yep my tranquilizers are no working very well. <br />
David and I both slept most of yesterday. We did. Got up at 9 Am, We ate a little fruit and coffee, then went back to lie down, got up at 2 and went back to rest more. Got up at 5 for a bite of fruit and at 9 I think we were back in bed. <br />
I have to stop myself or I become too involved in everyones pain. I tell David, "Don't let me do this, it is not safe to lose control like this"<br />
Why does it all have to end? Why do loved ones have to die? Why can't I go first so I do not know this pain? <br />
God has a plan and day by day is all we can do.<br />
<br />
I look around at my possessions and wonder, "What will become of this stuff?"<br />
That is what they are , "Just Stuff" <br />
At one time I thought of them as necessary or a Want. Now I see them as cumbersome.<br />
Something to rid myself or my children of.<br />
They each have their own stuff and God knows they do not need mine too.<br />
I have a 3 bedroom house full, plus an 800 sq. ft. rec room. (mostly games and office equipment) <br />
If I had my druthers I druthers give it all away.<br />
But one must continue to live. <br />
<br />
I do have a plan soon, We shall see if it comes to fruition.,<br />
Now if only I had a U haul truck. <br />
I NEED my grandchildren here for a few days, I think that will put me out in that pool and sunshine. <br />
<br />
For everyone's information, I backed my Mustang into a tree. On my own property, That makes two times, right here at home. <br />
<br />
With my own horrible skills. I had started the engine. I was buckled in, David was safely buckled in and suddenly I saw him trying to put his sling on.<br />
I forgot to keep my foot on the brake, the next thing I hear is a Crash and bump. We were both jerked forward.<br />
I immediately take it to Millers, They give me an estimate of 860.00.<br />
I was going to keep it and take care of it myself, after all deduct is 500.<br />
Then I find out I can not just choose Millers, They are not on our company list. ERRRRRRR<br />
<br />
Miller calls me and says, "Bring it in today, we have a State Farm Rep here for another car"<br />
<br />
Great. Then they pull the bumper off, The damage is deep, It is now 1900.00.<br />
Of course now I am not doing it myself.<br />
The office tells me they have a 100 dollar saving coupon for Miller, That is a part of my deductible.<br />
OK Now I can breathe a little better.<br />
My company has already cut Miller a check so I know it is OK. <br />
And through all this, David is calm and tells me it is OK.<br />
I still feel STUPID when I think of what I did.<br />
Suddenly I feel as if I have to be all and do all and think all for everyone.<br />
I am just not up to doing that. <br />
When I told Jeff, "I am really NOT a bad driver, Just having a Bad summer"<br />
It all began in March.<br />
Now if it will just end.<br />
Jeff told me to just keep my mind on driving when I am driving but he understands my pain. He has been through it too, Unfortunately a lot of people have this in their life. <br />
<br />
<br />
Tomorrow evening we need to proceed thinning the pluots. that tree is looadedddddddddd. AS Are the plums and the apples.<br />
We have already disposed of at least 100 pluots and No plums but work must move ahead.<br />
David can help me with that one.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-57807044611384127092014-05-29T18:32:00.000-07:002014-05-29T18:32:15.902-07:00Think About<em><span style="color: red;">Living, Lets think about life</span></em>. <br />
<br />
A line to a song.<br />
<br />
My hair is cut, my time is down for tomorrow, the pool is filling, and needs vacuuming and David better not go out alone.<br />
Oh and news Alert, , I ordered a Senior alert button for him.<br />
He will now be monitored. <br />
You can all give me a pat on the back if you want to.<br />
It should be here in a few days. <br />
Heck I may even need it.<br />
Right now he is on to read another of his Odd Thomas books.<br />
Me? I am counting down to bedtime. <br />
I called to check on Harold and I heard him say or yell or something, "Oh Lord!!!"<br />
I agree with him. He is so tired of that bed. I would be too. It has been since May the 15 or 16, that he went in. <br />
<br />
Last night Roy was in the room with him. He grabbed Roy and pulled him over to the bed.<br />
The conversation went like this,<br />
<br />
<em><u>Harold, "Roy get on over here"</u></em><br />
<em><u>As he held on to his arm.</u></em><br />
<em><u>Roy, "I am here"</u></em><br />
<em><u>Harold, "No you are not, you are stiff, Loosen up, get in this bed and see what it feels like."</u></em><br />
<em><u>Roy laughed and told him "No"</u></em><br />
<em><u></u></em><br />
<em><u>As Roy went to the Restroom, Harold began calling him. Roy was seated and busy.</u></em><br />
<em><u>Suddenly he hears him say, "Oh Shit"</u></em><br />
<em><u>Roy goes back into the room and Harold is reaching for the water cup and straw. </u></em><br />
<em><u>He has pretty well maneuvered it when Roy ask, "Do you want a drink?"<br />Harold, "No! Not any more"</u></em><br />
<br />
So you see he is pretty much the booger he always was and we never know why God gives us time but he is awake and I am so happy all I can do is say,<br />
<span style="color: red;">"Thank you God, Now let your will be done in our lives and work this to your Glory."</span><br />
<br />
<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-86289254281800250222014-05-25T21:50:00.003-07:002014-05-25T21:50:59.589-07:00Finally a HolidayI am not sure where the month has gone but it is almost gone.<br />
I try to call my brother, Harold, every day. Just to let him know I love him so much,<br />
Yes I said it when he was respondent and I always will have a piece of him in my heart.<br />
Harold is special.<br />
When I called this morning, May told me, "Sue he heard you, he had a tear roll out of his eye"<br />
Yep I cried more.<br />
I know it comes to all of us but today I have been a mess. Crying at anything.<br />
And I did work. Between tears and red eyes.<br />
<br />
As I arrived at the break room door, a friend stopped me and asked about things.<br />
I broke down.<br />
Suddenly I was surrounded by a huge group hug.<br />
I think it was my first ever by so many people.<br />
I am usually the strong one for others but this last few days have taken their toll on my Heart.<br />
<br />
I cried and prayed all the way into work today. I just could not stop. I almost turned around and stayed home with David as he needs me more every day. <br />
Him I do adore and I suffer when he suffers. He is totally incapacitated with his right hand. He needs help removing his wallet and meds and keys.<br />
As we were being scanned at the airport, they asked him to raise both hands over his head.<br />
That was not going to happen. I wanted to yell, "Are you people stupid, Cant you see he is trying?"<br />
I stepped into the X-ray monitor and took his pocket items out. Pills and wallet .<br />
that is all he had.<br />
He was so frustrated by all the delays, But we made it and I served him coffee and a roll at Starbucks.<br />
<br />
I have a DIL I love so much but I want to NOT love her.<br />
I can not let her go easily but I will as time moves on.<br />
I do not want her to ever forget how she touched my heart and life.<br />
Kris if you are reading this, My Love will not change. I tried but you are like a daughter to me, You and Shelle. Life without either of you is not fathomable. <br />
I am still unsure of what to think or feel. At times I am so jumbled up in my thoughts, I lose control of my tears.<br />
If I hurt this bad, How much more is Ken and the children hurting?<br />
So I put my thoughts to him and the babies.<br />
<br />
<br />
I am looking forward to taking them camping this summer, Of course to Lassen. We will rent a cabin and spend a night or two. Not sure I could handle more than that with no necessities. Necessities like electricity, running water and a restroom right down the hall.<br />
No, at Lassen you have to go to the nearest public room and it is a trek through the woods with a flashlight and a good sense of balance.<br />
<br />
With that good thought I will close and go to bed. It is time to put this old Grandmother down for the night.<br />
<br />
<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-37263897137522227932014-05-20T20:46:00.001-07:002014-05-20T20:46:23.925-07:00HOMEI said, "when I get home I am going to kneel down and kiss the ground"<br />
I did not do that, You see the pavement was too hot. LOL<br />
How is that for too hot, too cool, too windy, too loud, too quiet, too too, too..<br />
I think I am at an end of pleasing myself. Nothing works.<br />
<br />
I did go back to work today and will work for 4 more in a row. I do not mind. I needed the pace to pick up.<br />
As I drove into our drive, <br /><strong>David was out on the irrigation ditch, weeding the ditch. DANG!!!!</strong><br />
I asked him not to do that. He could fall and that would be devastating.<br />
<br />
He made it fine but I see exhaustion in his sweet face.<br />
<br />
I still keep Ken and his family in my thoughts 24 hours a day. Yes they are in my dreams too. My every thought is for their well being.<br />
I just can not understand how a Mom who loved or seemed to love so much, Walks away.<br />
I just can not understand and I may never understand. I will just live with it.<br />
I pray for my sweet grand's that do not know what is going on. If it gets to me, How much more does it get to them?<br />
Yes I am speaking out, I think too many times we do not speak our hearts and how they ache for our loved ones.<br />
<br />
However my brother is trying to check out on us. ON Monday I spent the day trying to decide if I should go back to Arkansas or not.<br />
I spent about 30 precious minutes with him on family day and nothing can take that time away. We laughed, we prayed, we cried.<br />
Harold is a brother every girl should have. He has a heart as big as Texas. Really he is just unique.<br />
He would get angry if someone bullied someone else. He stood on our school bus and yelled at kids for laughing at a person he knew. The person he knew had an illness and often passed out. <br />
Kids laughed, Harold stood and shut them up really quick.<br />
Yeah seems like a lifetime ago. <br />
Harold was one to stand for all things good, he fought for the underdog.<br />
He never looked down on ANYONE, <br />
<br />
I will miss him when he goes but as far as I know, He can outlast all of us. I hope he does outlast me.<br />
My heart broke when I tried to talk to him and as they took the phone away he was saying, <br />
"Sue I cant hear you, Sue I cant hear you" This was repeated several times and my heart broke.<br />
At times his eyesight failed and I heard it was due to his blood pressure.<br />
<br />
So tonight I ask each of you to pray for Harold and May and Michael. <br />
That is a family and always has been a family that sticks together.<br />
If I do not see him again on earth I WILL see him in Heaven.<br />
He told Roy, "I am afraid, I don't ever want to leave you, I want us together forever."<br />
Roy assured him they would be together forever, When we all make Heaven our eternal home.<br />
<br />
So now I close and get some much needed rest, Rest right after I find that Dang cricket that is in this rec room.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-22568253679590859472014-04-21T19:02:00.000-07:002014-04-21T19:02:20.622-07:00Don'tSAY THAT, DON'T DO THAT, DON'T REPEAT THAT, DON'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH OR USE YOUR FINGERS TO TYPE.<br />
<br />
<br />
Yep my life in a nutshell. <br />
<br />
Now look at that word, DON'T. That is as negative as you can get.,<br />
<br />
OK then I shall post something positive. <br />
<br />
HUMMMMM <br />
HUMMMMMM <br />
HUMMMMM <br />
Cant think of a thing. LOL<br />
<br />
OH I think, Think I have my jeans for the reunion. Yep I am wearing jeans. <br />
Or Not, I also have white capris, Who knows? Only the night of May 3rd. will tell.<br />
<br />
David is not ready yet. I have to shorten all his active wear. He has to wear that as he can't button his pants any longer. (His right hand does not work, and No he has not gained the weight, it is just that stubborn right hand)<br />
Now he needs pull on active wear. <br />
I have three days to get it all done, packed and on the plane. Da Plane, Da Plane, I see Da Plane. <br />
Or Not. <br />
I see a lot of work to accomplish in a short time. <br />
<br />
<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-66231957230320442312014-04-13T19:14:00.001-07:002014-04-18T18:50:58.184-07:00Sunday nightLong night. <br />
<br />
Today was work so I was up and at it pretty early.<br />
<br />
I have to say, I woke to a mower moving our field. Thank you Lee. <br />
Thank you so Much,<br />
<br />
I have so much to do before leaving here in a week, <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-25389854309146622162014-04-08T09:19:00.003-07:002014-04-08T09:19:55.059-07:00Call itCall it what you want but it can not change what it is. <br />
<br />
Call it what it is. <br />
<br />
My prayers are with my Son and Children.<br />
I slept pretty good last night but to face<br />
my daily grind is difficult.<br />
I want to be there for Ken and the children, <br />
Their youthful years are precious few, then they become adults.<br />
Influences in youth can change the outlook of adults.<br />
I pray these are not hurt by the changing events in their life.<br />
What is ???? Doing?????????????<br />
Where is God in all this??????????<br />
<br />
We see evidence of it every day, Every minute, Every phone call. <br />
We know we tried to lead our children in Gods path. Make mistakes?<br />
Yes we did, but we tried to stay Godly in all our choices. <br />
Tried I said, I did not say we did.<br />
<br />
But Call it what it is. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-56518788314444872702014-04-08T09:15:00.002-07:002014-11-24T16:11:27.066-08:00My Place<strong><strike><span style="font-size: x-large;">To Scream.</span></strike></strong> <br />
<br />
However I can not scream what is inside me, It lingers at the back of my mind.<br />
IT often makes to the front and I spill over.<br />
Last night I just went to bed early. <br />
<br />
Today is a driving day and a sad day and a Happy Day.<br />
Thank you Caylum for making a bad day into a positive day.<br />
<br />
So now I wonder do I move my fanny and get dressed or go like I am , In David's silk shorts and a tee shirt or do I dress appropriately?<br />
<br />
Well all I CAN do is hit the wrong key too fast and here I go misspelling loads of words, Even t<strong><em><u>he</u></em></strong> was wrong. <br />
<br />
I did get the yards mowed. edged blown off and the limbs raked. <br />
I did get to empty the pool skimmer at least a dozen times.<br />
In case you think it is the one on the side, think again, It was the one that catches all the muck from the bottom of the pool when you vacuum. <br />
Now I have to clean the filters. <br />
David helped all he could. He did push the vacuum with his left hand and did some of the edging. <br />
Then I cut a huge tree off the side of a tree and we tried to pull it out of the yard. (it was a dead side to our flowering pear) <br />
Nope not going to do that, I was pulling with all I had and found myself horizontal with the yard. <br />
I then cut it into 4 pieces so it was manageable. <br />
SHASTA DAMN!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
I am too tired to do this any more Ken, Get this house sold at any cost. <br />
I want out. <br />
<br />
However I must add, that two hours out there seemed like an 8 hour day. I did try to think positive and pray and sing as I mowed but I had no song in my heart. <br />
<br />
Today I wake to David fretting over the books. He has to quit that job. HE HAS TO.<br />
Just using the keyboard is torture for him.<br />
He says NO I CANT. And he may be right, IF he stops using his brain, it will shrivel up too. <br />
Just as he has in the last year. He is down to 184, his face is emaciated. His right shoulder is gone and he is Miserable.<br />
If he is miserable, then so am I. <br />
<br />
So Miserable Us need to shower and pack. <br />
Not leaving as soon as we thought. Should be there by 3.<br />
In time to think of feeding dinner to 6 munchkins. David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-7934147421271385032014-04-05T17:51:00.001-07:002014-04-05T17:51:18.674-07:00Bed TimeFor all us OLD people. <br />
It has been as my daughter put it, A horrible month, (or something like that)<br />
<br />
We never know what will happen in our lives, We must take it as it comes and pray for strength.<br />
<br />
Today my strength lacks. I am sad, I am hurt, I am let down, I am at a loss as to WHY, I am just not me and have a hard time being me. <br />
<br />
So with that I shall try to get some rest as tomorrow is Work again. <br />
Then I will take a little trip to see a special family and watch as a young man receives an award from the County school board, and the City, County school board. <br />
Yes a pretty full two days. Then back to work.<br />
<br />
Oh and Princess has a birthday on Sunday. Yea, Go Kiara. <br />
Papaw and I have your presents which you will receive on Tuesday.<br />
<br />
<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-44458395263692070432014-03-29T19:06:00.004-07:002014-03-29T19:06:55.714-07:00Venting<br />
<br />
Tomorrow I work a few hours and David will be here reading or sleeping or watching movies.<br />
<br />
I can set up the system for him before I leave.<br />
<br />
Problems hit on every corner. As I drove into town on Friday, I noted my panel light was on. I drove into the Service Station, (Yes we have one in Redding). (Union 76 on Bechelli)<br />
Jeff, came out and checked my oil, It was fine. He then looked at my panel and said, "That is your emission light"<br />
OH NO!!!<br />
So on Tuesday I have my smog test and see what needs done, Maybe a new gas cap. <br />
Please God, Just a new gas cap will be good enough. <br />
When I called for the appointment, I told him it was an 06, with less than 48,000 on it.<br />
His response. "You have not broken that car in yet."<br />
Yes that is pretty good for an 8 year old car. <br />
In fact my insurance fees are going down on our next quarter. For both cars.<br />
<br />
I promised David a trip to town today but my body would not move. It wanted to sleep and sleep.<br />
That is how I deal with life. Go to sleep and the problems will go away. <br />
That is a fact. I sleep through my problems and the more I sleep the less I worry.<br />
When you sleep you do not have to think. However those problems can hit your dreams and you wake shivering and crying. <br />
Searching for an answer when maybe there is no answer. <br />
<br />
So right now I need one of you to come here and help me turn a King mattress. It needs turned and I only know one way to do it. <br />
Slide it off the bed, go under and pull it back on.<br />
Yeah a lot of work but David and I switched sides of the bed, (so he could get in and out better) and I feel like I am sleeping in a hole. <br />
He has changed the shape of the mattress. No he is not huge but his rocking to get up has made the mattress and foam pads break down.<br />
Now I go to move and make the bed. Kind of late in the day but what does it matter. <br />
We NEVER have company and we just stay in our jammies all day. <br />
<br />
I also need to get our meds ordered from Canada. We are leaving here shortly and want to be stocked up. I think Cassie will be taking care of things here.<br />
Pool service is ordered. Now if it ever stops raining so I can balance the pool. <br />
I changed my Cancer testing to May. I told the doctor I did not want to go to an airport with a letter and still be frisked. So May it is. <br />
<br />
When we go to the spelling bee in April, we already have a room. How cool is that? The school has reserved a room for us and the parents. <br />
In the next week or so Caylum has two School board honors we are going to attend. One is Yuba Sutter and One is Sutter county. <br />
I only wish Charles and Sheri were here to go with us. It would be such an honor to all be together again. However we live too far apart to go to such meetings. <br />
Oh Someday, Some Happy Day.<br />
<br />
I need to find some pull on pants for David, He cannot button his pants and he is down to two pair that fit. <br />
He has lost more weight and I try to get him to eat better but he is disgusted with his arm and will not cooperate with me. I can not blame him as he is trying and he does eat but his appetite is almost gone. UNLESS it is a Sweet item, then he chows down. <br />
<br />
So with that I better get my Move On and get that bed changed.<br />
Prayers are much appreciated as I am too OLD for this. <br />
<br />
Love to all, <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-62882724449819177382014-03-23T20:46:00.000-07:002014-03-23T20:46:53.865-07:00Full WeekI am not sure when this week began, As usual it begins on Sunday but that day has erased from my memory. <br />
Lots of phone calls, Lots of tears, Lots of worry about things. <br />
God did not intend us to worry. <br />
He does not lift our load at night, for us to reach over and pick it up the next morning. <br />
(I am good at that) <br />
<br />
<span class="reftext"><a href="http://biblehub.com/1_peter/5-6.htm"><span style="color: red;">6</span></a></span><span style="color: red;">Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,</span><br />
<span style="color: red;"> <span class="reftext"><a href="http://biblehub.com/1_peter/5-7.htm">7</a></span><span class="highl">casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.</span></span><br />
<span class="highl"></span><span style="color: red;"> <span class="reftext"><a href="http://biblehub.com/1_peter/5-8.htm">8</a></span>Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.…</span><br />
<br />
And devour he can. He will and He will eat all our joy.<br />
<br />
I want to always stay humble before God. Some days it is so hard to just let go and Let Him take control.<br />
<br />
Well as you all know, Caylum is going to State spelling Bee, He spelled words I can not spell. Maybe I could have, Years ago, but not now. My brain is slow. Such as Embezzlement. (that was corrected by spell check) <br />
Then on to more hard words. He just knows, but he is a constant reader and he will grasp words and hides them in his mind for later use.<br />
Are we proud? Of course but it does not take our pride from any of our grandchildren or children. <br />
We know God is in control of their lives, Each person has a special place in our hearts and minds.<br />
We pray we have a place in theirs. We want them to always remember good times with Mamaw and Papaw. <br />
Spelling Bee? well it is one day before we fly out of here for Oklahoma. We have house sitters and pool sitters and life happening. <br />
He will have a word list and you can bet it will be twice as long as the previous word list. <br />
Give him the time he needs to know and be prepared. <br />
Next year we are certain to see Kiara in the Bee. She loves to spell and competition is Keen with her.<br />
Leila we give her a few years but she can spell "Pee" She told me, "Mamaw I can spell Pee." I smiled and said, "You can, How" <br />
"P E E" she said, I then told her to go tell her Daddy. I swear I did not put her up to it. <br />
She just wants to spell words. Like "Do" Then Even asked her to spell the other word Dew.<br />
She was then confused. OK she is in Kindergarten. She will get there.<br />
<br />
So David is in Bed early. He was wiped out and frustrated.<br />
So much on his heart and mind. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow I begin my outdoor work and that bothers him a lot.<br />
Hey it has to be done. We can not afford to hire all this done. I can do it, Maybe a little slow but it will be done. <br />
So in your prayers remember us and the sale of this big acreage to take care of. We need out so we have little work to do. <br />
Kind of getting lazy in our old age. David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15792324.post-11884678379454898762014-03-14T18:49:00.001-07:002014-03-14T18:49:06.120-07:00Home ShowWe show the house tomorrow at 10. Hope it goes well, as I am tired of keeping it up, and keeping my spirits up.<br />
Some days they hit bottom and I cant see up.<br />
However today is not that day. Tomorrow may be as I go to work also. <br />
Long Long day coming up.<br />
<br />
However on Wednesday we go to YC for a spelling bee. Yep Caylum is in our prayers. He will do good and we wanna be there to root, root for Caylum<br />
Go Buddy. <br />
<br />
Kris get our air bed ready as we may stay the night. It will be so late when it is over, I am not sure we can drive back,<br />
Besides that, I want to go to "Howe Bout Arden?" to shop The Rack.<br />
I am still at a loss as to my outfit for the reunion.<br />
<br />
So with that, We all need prayer, David is the same, I am the same, Just a little older and a lot more tired and stressed. <br />
Charles family need prayer. <br />
Heck we all need something don't we?<br />
<br />
Love to all.<br />
David/Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02018613624881016344noreply@blogger.com0