Heavy Load

I think I am mentally exhausted. I have been so wiped out this week I can not function. I drove into town yesterday for an appointment. My car was bug covered and needed washed. (when you drive down I-5 the bugs are everywhere from the rice paddies.)
As I walked out of the lab, I thought I am too tired to take care of this, but I drove to the car wash for a wash and wax. I figured it was not fair to leave it all to David. He has enough to do. When he is ready to come home I want him home.
(selfish person that I am)
So today I am just sitting and the clouds are in again. Not a warm day, at all.
I could be out mowing the field behind the pool but again, I just want to sit and do nothing. I know that is bad for my heart (to be idle) but at this point, more stress on my body may be just as damaging.
So this is supposed to be uplifting, now on to positive things.
Um Um Um , can't think of anything right now.
I could be sewing but that would entail setting up the unit in the living area and I will get to that.
Someday!
Caylum was upset because I could not make his quilt right then, I showed his Mom the fabric and that was it, he wanted it now.
I guess I feel bad, Kris needed me this week and I could not make the trip.
I think I have never said I can't. One is cost of Gas, main reason is I am too tired, I have to rest.
I feel so bad about that, but we have made the trip twice in a week period and at almost 50 dollars a tank of gas, we just can't.
I just do not like to let her down, or anyone down, but that has to happen sometime, I won't be here forever. Life will go on with or without me.
I have to admire her reason for needing me. Evan has a field trip this week and she is worried about him. He has never gone on a trip without them. I think it is a museum and I can see him being totally enthralled by the exhibits. He is into what makes things tick.

She wants to make sure he is OK and watched well. That is the best reason in the world. That is one dedicated Mama.
So today I am at rest again. Waiting on a call from the doctor or Not. Test were probably good, although I am not 100 % sure of it. I Just don't feel exactly great.
OK enough negativity, I do know my own body and I stay in tune with changes.
And change is coming.