Just Laugh

The first time I read this was in the 1970's. I about rolled out of my chair laughing, I could not stop. A good belly laugh. So enjoy.

The Gastronomical Bean Story
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.
Then, one day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on."
So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. They were married shortly thereafter.

Some months later his car broke down on the way home from work, and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home.
On his way, he passed a small cafe and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off any ill effects before he got home, so he stopped at the cafe.
Before leaving he had eaten three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted and after arriving felt reasonably safe that he had putt-putted his last.

His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed delightfully,
"Darling, I have this wonderful surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the dining table. He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang.
She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned, then went to answer the phone. Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air about him. Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on him, so he shifted his weight to his other leg and let go again. This was a true prize winner.

While keeping his ear on the conversation in the hall, he went on like this for ten minutes until he knew the phone farewells indicated the end of his freedom. He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it, and smiled contentedly to himself. He was the very picture of innocence when his wife returned, apologizing for taking so long.
She asked if he had peeked and he of course assured her that he had not. At this point she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise....

Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a "Happy Birthday Party."