Cant Sleep

It is 11 o'clock and I should be asleep but sleep evades me. I am so tired and my BP is sky high. I guess that is why I can't sleep, I can feel my heart pound the bed. We all know our hearts beat but we don't want to feel it when we are trying to rest.
The doctor told me it is my anatomy that enables me to feel it.
Right now it does not matter why, I just want to rest. That alone makes my BP high. 154/94. Bad news but I have a lot on my mind.
First I worry about David, He had a test today, and his bladder and kidneys are fine, thank You God. But in doing this he put his stress test off. I knew he would when he first scheduled it but he is his own boss. I can only beg him to take test, and stress myself out but I won't do that any more. I have done it for years and now I just let him make his own decisions. Who am I to tell him what to do, he has better health than I do.
Today had been one of my tired days, I did pick veggies today and did make David stuffed pork chops for dinner with black eye peas and a sour cream coffee cake. Very good. That may be why my heart is racing. I should not eat sweets.
I just took a tranquilizer, tiny one, now I should relax and get my body back in sync.
Right now I am eating a piece of the best cantaloupe ever. It is so sweet. Vine ripened. I am going to miss my fresh fruit and vegetables when this season is over. I will not even like the ones off the grocery shelf.

I have been thinking of the trim on the well shed. My mind is already figuring out what to do once the cooler weather hits. My quilting is already out and sorted for two more quilts to compete.
The well shed. I have a great Red paint, I may paint the trim red. What do you think? Not a lot of trim to paint but if it turns out good, I will do the same to the work garage so when Ron finishes the bathroom it will be show ready. We have to put a new window in it and maybe we can put up something on the walls to finish it off. Ron is so handy and so knowledgeable.
I can certainly see the red on the trim and then I can hang shovels I have painted with little words of wisdom on them, I can hang the old saws above the door and I can paint the work bench around back of the shed.
In addition I need to work on a yard sale to clear out a lot of old stuff. I bet we have more trimmers than any ordinary person should. We do. Really we have at least four and all in working order. We just have a hard time with them. One is hard to start, one is hard to keep wound one has a little 34cent piece missing and one is who knows what . We have two blowers, two mowers, plus the tractor, We have a DR and a long trimmer thing. we have a hedge trimmer, All of which seldom are used. What a waste. We have boxes and boxes of pipe fittings and electrical parts, Maybe Ron can use some of them. I have things I sorted a year ago and it is still in the garage. Now I think I can get to work on that and have a little extra money for who knows what, Who cares?
Just gives me something to think on when I can't sleep.
Let me see what else can I say, I worry about my grandson, he is still in need of prayer but I have to say, I believe God has taken control of the situation and all is going to be well. I just feel it is going to be good.
I worry abut my children so far away. I think of my Moms poem,

"My children are so far away, I know they will return some day,

And say dear Mom we are home to stay.'

The halls are so lonely dark and quiet, where once they rang with laughter and delight.

My children are so far away.

if they only knew the pain and woe they caused their Mom When they had to go.

I know they would turn around and say, Mom we are home to stay"

That was a poem my sister found in my Moms suitcase when we cleaned out her house. It said so much she never said to us, I know when I went to see her, when we left, she would not come outside to see us drive away. I knew it was hard but I never knew how hard.

My Mom knew we had lives to build, if only we could have built them closer to her. But life does that to us sometime. We take what comes and make the best of it and pray it is the best choice. Each choice we make can affect every road we take. Each choice can lead us to a different road.

OK now I am rambling, or as one person said, "What is all that chatter?" LOL I had to laugh at that one, it was so funny. I guess I do chatter on and on about nothing and everything.

All that is in my heart.

So now I will say
Good night sweet ones, Sleep tight, Mommy's heart is holding you secure and holding you in prayer.

Our Father who are in heaven, Hallow would be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespass as we forgive those who trespass against us, lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.

Amen.