Humility to Humanity

I am not sure what I am feeling tonight but it sure isn't humility. I am sort of down. I am not even sure why. I feel angry and irritated and bitter and overwhelmed.
Why? everything is going good. I am healthy (as possible under the circumstances) I am tired but can't rest.
So I guess this is just something I have to talk my self out of.
I have huge list of to dos in my head and do not see any way to complete them. I have to remove all the old caulking from the motor home and re caulk it. That entails crawling on the roof with pallet knife and sealer in hand and scraper. What a mess it will be.
I need to wrap all the pipes before winter hits. I need to trim the rose garden and the grape vines. I HAVE to spray the orchard with dormant spray. Notice I said HAVE to.
The tractor needs a new part on one of the blades and I think I can fix it to save at least a hundred dollars in labor cost. I have to change the oil in the tractor and winterize it. (Yes I do the oil changes regularly).
The pool will need winterized. The garden will need plowed under, a huge burn pile needs burned when rains start. Black walnuts clutter our drive and they are a mess.
I still need to put more garden cover in one or more of my flower beds so David can haul more rock over for me. One bed I have to pull out the cover I deliberately killed. It has died adequately to dig up and replace with flowering plants.
I am going to unpack my extras I packed up last year, for example my silver service, my candle sticks, my holiday dishes, and I am going to bring in my new platinum dishes so I can at least enjoy them this holiday season.
I am working on two quilts, I have a big mess in my living area.
I don't feel like cooking lately and to make matters worse I had to throw away my flour. I found one little bug in it and I got sick. (weak stomach that I have).
I want to bake something but forget what I need when I go to the store. Prices are so high it is depressing.
I paid my cardiologist today and that upset me a lot. Having to pay that much when I could have as easily done without the therapy. (OK I admit, it did help but when I saw the bill I really did get sick.) and I had 35 visits for the therapy.
We have so many people we need to visit. Get this, we need to get to Paradise to see Retha, Davids sister. While there we always go to YC to see our son and family. (it is only 40 miles further. )
We need to get to Seattle to see our son and his family, (been too long since we made that trip and driving hurts my legs) Yeah Yeah complaining.
Don't even get me started on Birthdays, We have four more this year and that is grandchildren only, not even considering a son and daughter birthday.
See my head is spinning with things to do and checks to write and places to go.
So I have to find my happy place. It will be there, All I need to do is pray a while about it and rest will come.
It always does.

I NEED a BREAK from hum drum days.
I need to just break away for a while and find me again.
Not sure where I will be when I do but I can bet I will be in a better state of mind.
I do not mind doing all the above I just see the list as endless. Not sure why.
I think I am just tired. You think so?
David is peacefully snoring away, I woke him to tell him I was upset. He offered to help but soon I had to wake him to have him turn the snore to the wall. LOL
More irritation. And he cant help it so I need to quit being a grouch.
OK almost midnight, I should try to rest. I took tranquilizers and I may as well ate a piece of candy for all the good it has done. I feel like I am either lying too hard on the bed or I am suspended off it. every muscle in my body is on alert.
So I need prayer tonight. Just if you are up, say, "Lord help Dad to make it through Mamas tension". If you read this in the morning I will already be up and doing much better. It is just a think we all face. it is called humanity. We are only human and without gods divine intervention we would all be basket cases more often.