Angina

Today I decided it was time to see my Cardiologist. I have an unusual amount of pain.
Not pain, maybe call it discomfort. I take a nitro and I am fine.
I look great, I am tan, I am in good shape, but I have a bad heart. I know all about it.
This is hard for me to accept.
When I get these pains, I am suddenly reminded of my inadequacies, my mortality.

Do I get scared? Yep. Some, but not scared enough to stop living, but scared enough to see my Doctor.
Anyone that knows me knows I hate to sit it out.
I want to dance that next dance, I want to run the race as fast as I can. I want to play harder and laugh the loudest. (Did you know laughing makes my heart hurt, A hard laugh, but I WILL NOT stop laughing), I want to leave a lot of good memories, Wonderful memories.
But these pains stops me in my tracks.
Why? Because I try to follow my heart, (no pun intended). Follow as in use good sense and stop when my body says, "You better rest now."
My arm and neck has been bothering me, I take Nitro daily.
Today I saw DR. Chandramouli.
He gave me three options, Take medications (for chronic Angina) and see if it stops the pain with an EKG to follow again in a week.
Begin my Therapy, or Have an anagram. I chose the first.
Medication, I am good at taking.
I just hope they do the trick, although we know I have blocked arteries.
After seven years I am again back to building cholesterol. As of two years ago, I was taken to ER to check out an attack. It was one artery, Teensy, tiny, deep in the heart artery. Too deep to safely stint.
Several arteries that were repaired in 2002 are again blocked, over 50 % but all I really want to know is I am going to be OK.

So I went into therapy, It worked.
Now I need it again, I am scheduled in August. Actually I look forward to it, although it is expensive. I have to go for 35 days, in a row, (weekends off).
While I am in therapy I watch movies, It is my break time, I think sometime God makes me stop and reflect on him. So anyone have good ideas for movies to watch?
I will watch Amazing Grace, Maybe Schindler's list (again) Who knows but I am up for suggestions.
Keep me in your prayers. I am positive this therapy will work really well as well as the medications.
I have Mountains of Faith.

So with that I will close with words to a song.
I am in the midst of a storm, but I know God can walk on Water and calm the storm.

In the dark of the midnight
have I oft hid my face,
while the storms howl above me'
And There's no hiding place,
Midst the crash of the thunder
Precious lord, hear my cry
Keep me safe till the storm passes by

Till the storm passes over,
Till the thunder sounds no more
Till the clouds roll forever from the sky
Hold me fast, let me stand
in the hollow of they hand
Keep me safe till the storm passes by

Now many times, Satan whispers
He says there's no need to try,
for there's no end of sorrow,
there's no hope, in the by and by
But I know, thou art with me, and tomorrow I'll rise
where the storm never darkens the sky


Till the storm passes over,
till the thunder sounds no more
till the clouds roll forever from the sky
hold me fast, let me stand
in the hollow of they hand
Keep me safe till the storm passes by
Hold me fast let me stand
in the hollow of thy hand
Keep me safe till the storm passes by.