Countdown

OK here it is Tuesday, we are down to the last day before the BIG PILL.
Dave woke me this morning and said he was coming back home, to spend the day with me.
I was so happy to hear that. I wanted to call him yesterday and ask him to come home, I felt so horrible.
Today I am better but I have had to do nothing. It is when my feet hit the floor that I feel it.
I feel the total exhaustion, the heavy legs that do not want to hold me up, I feel the dizziness making me think I will pass out, I feel the eyes cross. LOL (It feels like they do.)
I definitely feel the nausea, it does happen every day. More than once.
The lab called to remind me of my appointment for 8am. I asked about the results of the blood test, and was informed the Doctor wants me there regardless, but they will call and order the results. I can not imagine I did not reach my goal. I feel like I have. You tell me to do something for my health and I do it. Suffer but I do it.
I am going to miss David so much. I rest better when he is at least in the house. Oh well, No one can be here so I am OK with that, If not him, then no one.
He has informed the neighbors, They want me to turn lights on at night so they know everything is OK. I will do that.
They knew something was wrong. Me!!! the outdoor person, never walking out the door. They wondered what was wrong.
David helped me get the bed ready and the jammies stacked and ready to wear. To give you fair warning, I have to wash my hair three times a day, so if it breaks in clumps I am cutting it to about an inch long. I don't care. It is only hair and will grow back rather fast. I was told my hair probably will not come out. This is supposed to be easier than chemo. That is not a definite and I do not expect the worse but you can be prepared for anything.
Never hurts to accept what is happening. It can make life a lot easier with a lot less stress.
I have my sewing stacked and cut and ready to work on, (If I feel like it). At least I have plans but if I sleep all day that is a plan too.
With that I will say Goodnight.
And sing my songs.

Hotel California

Hotel Isolation
Travel back with me, to the summer of '76. The Eagles are playing on the radio. Remember the haunting melody of this timeless epic...

On a dark desert highway

Cool wind in my hair

Warm flush in my cheeks was

Rising up through my fear

Up ahead in the distance

I saw a shimmering light

It was the neon of the hospital

I had to check in tonight

Then I stood in the doorway

I heard the nurses' bell

And I was thinking to myself,

"This isn't Heaven, it's HypoGlowtel."

I swallowed radiation

And I glowed kinda grey

There were voices down the corridor

I thought I heard them say,

"Welcome to the Hotel I-so-la-tion.

Such a lonely place (such a lonely place)

For a hypo case.

We're wrappin' a room at the Hotel I-so-la-tion,

Any time of year you can glow right here.

"Saliva glands are wasted

I have constipated bends

I've got a lot of books to read

But I call friends

The plates pile and the food smells

Sweet, sour spit

Drink water, remember

Another flush, don't forget

So I called to the nurses,

"Please don't make me whine."

They said, "You haven't had your nausea meds

since seven thirty nine."

And still those voices are calling from far away

Wake me up in the middle of the night

Just to hear them say,

"Welcome to the Hotel I-so-la-tion.

Let's light this place (let's light this place)

So we can see your face.

"I'm nukin' it up at the Hotel I-so-la-tion

What a rude surprise

When your tastebuds fry

Mirror sends me reeling

My reflection isn't nice

And I said, "I'm just a prisoner here

of the Geiger device."

And in the Doctor's chambers

He writes it nice and neat,

"Patient tolerating RAI

but she just can't seem to eat."

Last thing I remember

I was running out the door

I had to find the passage back

to the main revolving door

"Relax," said the HMO,"

We are programmed to deceive

You can check out any time you like

But you can never leave..."