Holding Heaven in My Arms

K-Loves Message to me today.

TODAY'S ENCOURAGING WORD - 5/18/2010

A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.

--Proverbs 15:13, NLT

Sometime we have to think of our outlook.

I had a wonderful reason to smile today.

Let me begin with my drive down, As I woke this morning I stayed in my gown

( Beautiful Vera Wang sleep dress, looks like a slip on dress with a black border) slipped on a pair of leotards, skippers, washed up, combed my hair and scurried out the door. As I drove away I remembered I had forgotten my water, Got to have my drinking water.

I drove on to Micky D's had to have my decaf. (We are out of coffee.)

Then on to YC. Not a hitch in the trip.

I spent the day with the babies The two girls, ages, 5 and 2 and a little chunk that is 7 mos old.

Man he is HEAVY.

I have to say, it brought back memories of his Dad when he was unable to crawl or motivate or express what he wanted. Ken was a fussy baby until the day he learned to crawl.

Then look out rooms and get your roller skates Mom, he was in every cabinet and broke everything and poured out everything he could get his little hands on.

Oh by the way, He would stand at the table banging a glass bird on the coffee table saying,

"No Ken, No Ken". While I am trying to get across the living room to save him from shards of glass.

He never listened to anyone especially himself. LOL

No actually he was a sweet baby with the smile of an angel just like his Kian.

But today Kian brought back those memories,, hold me memories, Walk with me, sing to me, Play with me, Do not let me be alone or idle.

At times I was at a loss as to what to do, He would not let me sit down without screaming. If I stood, he was OK, if I sat, he cried. So I walked and stood. Hey I found out I can still sing a baby to sleep, although not in a rocking chair, I had to be standing and rocking. As I sang sentences to the kids as to what I needed them to do, they thought it was funny. Like this.

Singing, "Kiara When I turn, see if his eyes are closed, If they are I can sit, because I am so tired, Please God make him sleep for a few minutes. " Sing, Sing, Sing my sentences.

The girls thought it was pretty much fun.

One time I actually prayed out loud. "Dear God please let him let me sit."

I guess God had more important things to do right then. Kiara laughed as he began crying as I sat down, while saying, "Mamaw you are funny."

Finally Sleep, After humming and singing a made up song about him and wanting to sit".

Yea deep sleep now I can sit and lean my head back.

Thank you God.

Then he woke crying again, crying, I finally called Kris, I said, "Is it lunch time yet? He is crying non stop and WILL NOT take a bottle." She suggested making it warmer, tried that, Did not work, Then the Dog peed in the floor, I told her this too, I was taking care of baby and the dog could do whatever. The girls finally covered the pee with a pee pad for doggies. I left it for Mommy.

My concern was the baby and his happiness, The girls were great through this, We even got to play with a huge box of hot wheels. By the way Leila says Truck just like Aunt Sheri did as a baby, and she talks in shorthand (just like Aunt Sheri did) . Every word is only the first syllable.

She did say one full sentence, "NO FAIR". only it was "Na Fa"

That was When her brother drank too much soda.

So with all the drama of today, as I drove home I heard Steven Curtis Chapman singing, "Heaven is the Face".

I could not help but smile as I thought of the day.

I held Heaven in my arms for a while today.

I thought how wonderful it was to feel that weight on that baby and his warm head resting beneath my hand. I often put my hand under his shirt and rubbed his back or rubbed his little blond head. ( a Head with a perfect double crown). Side by side.

The laughter and smiles outweighed the tears. He just missed mommy, I can understand that.

He did laugh and play a lot and he is a joy to hold. He can snuggle like no other.

However I thought of all the little ones that do not get that warm touch of their parents or grandparents. I wondered how can anyone hurt someone like this, someone that is totally dependent on our love and compassion for their feelings.

I thanked God as Tears filled my eyes, I pictured Kian, giggling as I played Peek a Boo. As I sat him in a hole between the cushions and he laughed and played.

I can still feel the weight of Leila as she fell by the swings, I picked her up, kissed her neck and face and she was OK then. She just needed that half a minute of attention.

What are we if half a minute is too long for our little ones?

All in all I had a blessed day, A day to remember that Heaven can be in the smallest of these little blessings.

No matter the trials, the blessings are so worth it.

A day they will Remember Mamaw was there for a day with them and cherished their hugs and kisses.

Thank You God for your many blessings.