One Little Thing

I have one good thing to say about running out of anti-anxiety pills.
The house is clean. Top to bottom.
Really I swept down ceilings, ceiling fans, polished furniture stripped beds, and crawled around and thoroughly cleaned my floors. I literally crawled all over the house with a bottle of cleaner and a roll of paper towels and hand mopped my floors.
Then I pulled the refrigerator out and cleaned and polished under it, then to the top of the cabinets I climb. I clean the back top of the fridge while it is sitting away from the wall.
I think I am through, It is after 6 PM. I am wiped out but still have a jumpy nerve. I decided to take a long bath.
Nope not going to do that, It requires sitting too long.
I hop in the shower, As soon as I am lathered up good, I decided to clean the shower.
Now all this time I am chiding myself for not slowing down.
I move so fast I bang my arms and legs and today I have a few sore spots.

That is why the doctor put me on those. I do not know what a STOP button is. If I have one it is well hidden.
Those pills are what keeps me from overworking and working at break neck speed.
If you have this disorder, you understand, if Not I can tell you, It is not a choice to move constantly.
When I married David he would put on his after shave, it stung, He would always say,
"Makes you want to catch a Rabbit."
I would laugh, and not understand the rationality behind that statement.
Now I do, I can catch a rabbit when I am out of my med.

Now to say why I was out, and give my doctor lots of credit.
I called them in on Monday, On Wednesday I checked on them, No response from the doctor.I asked them to resend. They did.
On Thursday I called and spoke to the Lead pharmacist. He looked and said, "For some reason they did not get sent out on Monday, but were sent yesterday."
OK now I am out. I call the doctors office, and leave a message.
On Friday I call again. By 6 David checks the pharmacy. I am no shape to drive or I would speed.
They say, "Oh yes they will be here in the morning," The pharmacy out sources its orders, which I find rather problematic.
David does not realize he can ask for them to be filled NOW.
He tells me what happens and I calmly think, "I Can do this, I will be OK, I will soon go to bed and sleep"
Suddenly the doctor calls me, "Sue did you get your med, We called them in on the 19Th and today again. You need them."
I call the pharmacy and then ask they pull the order back as my doctor just called and wants me on them now, and not to wait.
OH Thank you God, I finally get one pill in me, a pill no bigger than a pencil lead.
I am calming down, I set in my chair, I yawn a few times, I am suddenly tired.
David says, "Are you OK now?" I say "Yes, Thank you."
I know he is thinking . "Hallelujah, she is back and clam"

I really Wanted to be Good. For not only my health but the sanity of my husband who sees me moving this fast and Being Snappy.
Oh I hate it when I do that to him. Thursday evening I said, "Just don't talk to me now." He backed away as he knows the storm is about to break in.
As he walks through later, I say, "Honey I really do love you, I am just not good." He knows.
ON Friday morning, I wake early, I tell him over and over, I do Love you.
I get kisses over and over. Yes he is 72 and I am 64, but we are still in Love. Just not in sync sometime.