My Angel Sister

I am not sure if this is appropriate or not. I have to write my heart out.

My heart feels like a piece is gone.

I am angry, I am sad, I cant stand to hear music, I cant stand to think. I want to stop thinking.

I lost my Baby Sister this morning. God received an angel.

Over the last few years, She called me every day, We laughed a lot, we cried a lot.

I seldom spilled my problems but this last February I called to chat but when she picked up the phone my Tear Dam broke. I spurted and cried for ever 30 minutes, apologizing for the call. She was so happy to hear I was finally angry at the Cancer.

She was proud to be the recipient of the call and before we hung  up we were laughing.

That happened to MANY of our calls, Begin with tears and end with laughter.

One time she told me, "Sue I cant laugh and breath at the same time, don't do this to me,"

(She was still laughing at the situation I  shared with her. )

Tonight I do not have her to cheer me up. I have lost my best phone buddy. My Laughing Buddy, My Buddy to hear my corny jokes. The one who called and asked.
  "Where is my sister today?"

One to call me when she made Cranberry Bliss and tell her how much she was eating.

One who joined a share a small gift, no matter how small, to her it was that she was thought of.
Jeanette was my Baby Sister, I adored her so much. We had our differences but we had each other and we were joined by hearts and Love.

Until Jeanette was 6 years old we shared a bed. A small twin bed. (She and I, goofing off a lot).

When my Dad died she moved to Mamas bed so Mama would not be alone.

When she was a few years older she moved back to my bed. It became our bed.

I was mostly responsible for her baths.

Years later she told me,

"I loved it when you ran my bath water, You never fussed at me,"

Jeanette was the baby in lots of ways. Babies  need special care, special attention,and we gave that to Jeanette.

I bet I can count on one hand the times we had a difference of opinion or anger set in.

True as adults, I can not count five times.

Jeanette and I were the family rebels. (This was her favorite statement on our personalities.)

I was the "Yes I can do it" with a Pollyanna attitude.

She loved to wear her shirt that said, "GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

Personally I loved that shirt. It was Jeanette all the way.

I Love my Baby sister with all my heart .

Many times I told her, "I wish I could give you some of my happiness and health."

She always responded with "No you need it and I am going to be OK."

I spent many times crying for her pain. For her loss of health.

But I ALWAYS said "I love you sis. You are precious to me, more than you can ever know."

She knew I meant it.

We shared a common bond, a life as sisters that no one can break .
Yes I miss her terribly, But my 10 year old grandson put me in perspective today.
"So Mamaw it is kind of better she died,  she does not hurt any more."
So Better? For her!!! but not for us who are left to mourn our loss and her gain.

I miss you precious sister.