Sept 25 1951

Daddy came home with news of a new sister. Yes, our little Jeanette was born, I was ony 5 years old but I can see it as  if it were yesterday.
Jeanette was a beautiful baby girl with loads of curly blond hair. A smile that was mischievous and a laugh that went on and on.
A sense of humor that got me through many rough days, She and I could tell the most awful stuff to each other as we had no filters where each was concerned.
What I thought I said, what she thought she said and then we laughed and laughed.
I would find jokes to send her, She would call and say, "Sue you have to stop, I can't breathe and Laugh" Of course that made her laugh harder.
Do I miss her today? Yes and every day of my life I miss her.
She was a little tiny weak thing and she thought I was  her foundation.
It was quite the reverse. I had her to lean on and now some days I feel as if my very walls will crumble.
There is so much of her young life, at 5 and 6 that was never discussed in our family.
Mama told me "Oh I hoped you kids had forgotten" Forgotten No Never but now it is understood. Heart illness is the worse thing a man can face.
I am sure she did not recall the events, as she had hid them deep in her heart and mind.
Oh and  dont think the worse.
 Someday I must tell her children, so for once they can understand her mental make up.
She was loving and she loved too much. She was afraid of so many things and she was rightly so afraid. She wanted the best for her kids and she demanded obedience. Demanded!!!!!
That was not a bad thing.
I too demanded obedience. I just handles it a different way.

Two years ago, Jeanette was called home, home from the pain of this world, pain in her body, pain in her mind.
To this day, I want her back but I want her happy. I prayed many many times, "God give that little girl a big dose of happiness before you take her"

She would say, "Sue hurry up and get back here so we can visit, Please hurry."
I am so sorry sis, but I think  God had other plans and now I am miserable because I can not call and say "Happy Birthday Sis" But I can say, "Happy Birthday Angel, keep watching over me amd Give my Mom and Dad a huge hug"
 I love you and always will, I always accepted you for who you were. I had to stand back at times, but I remembered the pain you suffered and Love brought us together.

You and I had that secret of Love and compassion and acceptance.
And we had our secret hiding place when things were rough. I will never forget our hideout or the secrets we shared.