Wednesday, October 09, 2013

I dont like This

It is now 730 and David has been in bed since 630. I check on him but he is exhausted.
He told me all he did today was put chemicals in the pool, and take the walk with me. (at 500)
That was it.
As we neared the end of our walk, I noted him about 3 paces behind. I slowed and asked.
Are you OK" His  answer was "Yes, I am fine Sweetie, Just looking at things"
(Like I  believe that.)
I can tell the minute I see him, He is feeling bad, down, tired, sick.
Nothing to  do but Pray that he gets his energy up.
He takes calcium and he takes his meds but I am at a loss as to the next step.
He checks out fine, I guess fine for a 75 year old but refuses to have his heart tested further.

Yes it has been suggested that he have further testing.,  but that requires a cath which is invasive and he refuses to go through it.
True I am a worry wart, but that is my nature.
I think of all the bad things that can happen, but I know God has a plan and I want that plan in effect, right now.

I love on him and hold his hand and tell him how much I love him., That should be enough to make anyone well. Right????

I am working as  much as they need me, (to supplement our income,) but I hate being away from him.
You do what you have to do.
I just thank God for this job at this time. It is fun, rewarding and I get to testify about God in my life. Yep I do.

Right now I am exhausted and have done a little laundry,  straightened drawers, cleaned wood, and swept the floor, I am trying to keep my mind occupied to keep the worry away.
I worked today and was asked to come in tomorrow. I will be going in, Now if I can just get him to sit and read.

I am pretty sad and angry. One of  my young co workers (19) has been accused and confessed to rape. OH MY GOSH!!! I was blown away. He is such a gorgeous kid and he has a Dad who takes care of him.
A few things made me wonder the last two weeks but this? NO Way. But again he confessed and he was already out on bail for the same crime.
Oh Lord, what has the world done to these young minds? Where can we get them in touch with God and teach them to say, "I do not watch that stuff" (porn)
I do not even let the names of those channels come up on my screen. I detest that, it is awful, the shows are blocked. A lot of good that does when the show titles are listed. They are almost as disgusting as the show possibly is.
What happened to "Just say NO?"
And no it is not one of the boys I have worked with to Bring them to God. It was a new hire.

Yes I have a lot to say and a lot on my mind. I must shut it down.
We must sell this house. Too much stress. But I want to be here when Cay has his testing.
I have to be here.

I heard recently that someone has NO FAITH. they pray but no belief that God is going to answer.

I am reminded of the song,
Prayer is the Key to Heaven
But Faith unlocks the door,
Words are so easily spoken
But Prayer without faith is
Like a boat with out an oar
Have faith when you speak to the master
That's all he ask you for,
Prayer is the Key to Heaven
But Faith unlocks the door.

So if you are praying and saying, "I know I am wasting my time, You are hurting yourself, the person you pray for and your Heart"

Just have faith, I must or I can not make it day to day.
I KNOW GOD IS REAL. Without that faith, I have no hope or home in Heaven.
That is faith. I never see him, but he is like the wind, You do not see the wind, but you feel it.
I feel God daily, When I see smiles on senior faces, the tear stained cheeks of little children, the smiles of my friends.
That is God, That is Faith.

2 comments:

Sheri said...

1) Dad is tired. He might need to slowly "do" more to rebuild his stamina.
2) Might have been statutory rape.

David/Sue said...

Yes exactly what we think.
How do you build stamina when you exercise with your pulley, bands and table exercise daily. He does stay busy but he is tired. JUST tired. He does the lawns, the pool and what he can but at the end of the day he is Wiped out. It is OK, All is Well in California, We have FAITH.