Loss

I have found in the loss of my Brother, Ed Brown. His children do not know a lot of family history.
They saw him differently than he was as  a young man.
I will not go into it on my blog but This Family needs to know the young Man known as "Red" to the people of Sheridan.
I talked to Mike today and gave him  a lot of insight. A lot of information and a LOT of reasons to research.
Life happened to Ed, What happened  in that life is something some of us or None of us will ever know.
I just pray for peace for his troubled Heart, Mind and Soul.
God saw his sadness and God saw his heart, God told him it was time to Rest.
I must believe that.

Ed, I tried to show you more than once, I knew you were there. I recognized your existence. I recognized your need for appreciation.
In 2001 , June, I gave you two items for your birthday and I gave you a big hug. You were so proud of those things, they were family treasure.   I saved you a Quilt from Mama. You did get that beautiful quilt. I hope and know it kept you warm many nights when the loneliness overtook you.
I recall 3 years ago, this month when I bounced down on your lap and startled you, as you did not know I was home. I let you know then, You were important.
God knew I tried. God knew I cared. Mama knew I cared. We often talked and I would cry and not have an answer. On her death bed, I held that beautiful hand, I watched as you petted her sweet face. You could not take your hands off her. You did not want to let her go. You were there.
I know you Loved your Mama but life again got in the way of showing your love more often.

You took what we gave and I know you thought about it and appreciated it, but your heart was so heavy you could not see past the darkness.

I want you to rest knowing You were appreciated but most of us were at a loss as to what to do. What to say, How to react .
I am so sorry you passed as you did. I am So So So So Sorry.
I Love you Ed, I was weary of you,  but that does not stop Love.