Dr. Hilburn/Miracle Baby

Why? I was asked, was he my Hero Doctor?
First doctors usually are Gods in their own mind. They can do all things alone.
Dr came in my room twice a day to inform us of Charles health. It was always NO CHANGE! This was in the 48 hour time period.
However the morning after, 54 hours counting, He walked in with a smile. He said, "The baby has made it past the 48 hour mark, He has not had a convulsion since the middle of the night, he is alert and all vitals are good. We still have to keep a watch on him but I believe he has been a miracle."
After a few days I was released but Charles had to stay behind, 25 miles from me.
On Day Nine I received a call, "Come pick up your Baby he is doing really good,"
I was in that car in record time, (still moving slow due to multiple stitches) but running at the same time.
We drove to Pine Bluff and I ran to the nursery.
But first I had to sign LOTS of papers. I kept trying to leave the desk, I would stand to walk away but they would say, "Not yet! we have more."
I was getting frustrated. Finally they let us go, I took the pen with me, The nurse said, "She is such a hurry she is trying to steal our pens".
She was right, I had no thought but getting to the nursery to hold my baby, I had only held him one time and that was when he was a few hours old. When they lay him in my arms I was in Heaven.
The Doctor wanted to see him in a few days to preform the circumcision. (that was delayed due to his survival pending).
I was only happy to drive back to his office for this horrible torture to my baby. (had I to do it again I would not do it).
Dr Hilburn weighed him, He was astounded, Charles had gained a pound in a week.
Every week for six weeks I took him in for a check up. He gained every week.
Dr. Hilburn would call all the doctors in the pediatric group saying, "You have to come see this baby, he is a Miracle Baby."
He told us "I did nothing, it was all God that saved this baby."
"We have no ill effects, he has no symptoms of anything, HE is extremely healthy, HE is extremely alert, God healed him".
So this doctor always stood tall in my book. He gave credit where it was due, saying, he never did anything. They Never found out why the baby had convulsions.
It took me a long time to let him go, to let him out of my sight. He was with me every minute of every day. I had to see if he was OK, I checked him all hours of the night, I put my hand on his chest to see if he was breathing, I just had to let go.

It is difficult. You know God did the work, you just want to keep checking up on God. (You know see if he is still working for us).
I know God knew my heart and knew I trusted him, I just did not trust myself to take care of him properly.
After all I was the one that sent him back to the nursery because I was a "NEW MOM"