Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
My grandpa said "Go out and tell them a joke, but give it plenty of hope"
Make 'em roar
Make 'em scream
Take a fall, butt a wall, split a seam
You could start by pretending your a dancer with grace
Then you wiggle 'till they're giggling all over the place
Then you get a great big custard pie in the face
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em--
What?--
My Dad--
They'll be standing in lines for those old honky-tonk monkeyshines
-------------
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh!
My Living Will.
Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
them, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
The got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out all my grog.
They are so on my hit list . . . .
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was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.
Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well. . .
I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take,
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must have made a mistake.
"And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue."
"Hush, child," He said, "they're all in shock,
No one thought they'd be seeing you."
Judge Not !! Author Unknown.
Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with
chocolate.
I know I get a lot of exercise the last few years . . . just getting
over the hill.
Sergeant : Private.
Private : Yes Sir.
Sergeant: You failed to show up for camouflage class yesterday.
Private : How do you know that, sir
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