I am sitting here wishing the phone would ring. I know it won't. I know I will never see her name pop up on Caller ID.
I had the nicest phone calls EVERY Day, every day she was well enough to talk.
Some days I hesitated calling her, I figured she did not have enough breath to talk.
So today I sit here wishing it would ring.
On Friday I had a particularly bad day. Weeping at costco, Weeping while we eat.
Tears just falling and a huge lump in my throat.
Then David would make me laugh at something we did, (Jeanette and I)
When we arrived home, in my Mail was the most beautiful Bible Marker.
Tina, Jeanettes daughter, made it for me.
On one side there were pressed flowers from her grave and on the other a beautiful
photo of Jeanette.
I walked to the bathroom to show David, he says, "OH NO" and he begins weeping too.
He misses her too, she also made him laugh.
When she was a little girl, and we lived with Mama.
David kept Bananas around the house all time.
What we bought was for everyone.
One day Do Dat walked in and asked, "David can I have a Banana."
I had the nicest phone calls EVERY Day, every day she was well enough to talk.
Some days I hesitated calling her, I figured she did not have enough breath to talk.
So today I sit here wishing it would ring.
On Friday I had a particularly bad day. Weeping at costco, Weeping while we eat.
Tears just falling and a huge lump in my throat.
Then David would make me laugh at something we did, (Jeanette and I)
When we arrived home, in my Mail was the most beautiful Bible Marker.
Tina, Jeanettes daughter, made it for me.
On one side there were pressed flowers from her grave and on the other a beautiful
photo of Jeanette.
I walked to the bathroom to show David, he says, "OH NO" and he begins weeping too.
He misses her too, she also made him laugh.
When she was a little girl, and we lived with Mama.
David kept Bananas around the house all time.
What we bought was for everyone.
One day Do Dat walked in and asked, "David can I have a Banana."
(she was about 12)
He said, "Sure------ But first you have to act like a monkey."
She laughed and went into full monkey sounds and jumping with her legs bent and arms flapping.
We laughed and laughed.
She loved David as he always treated her like his own little sister and had no problem picking at her. He took a lot of calls that were meant for me, She always said, "Where is my Sister?"
He told her "Now you know she is out, you just wanted to talk to me. I am gonna tell."
Then the laughter began.
They too had great conversations.
But today, I want to know,
"Why is my Sister Gone?"
I now feel more alone than ever.
I have not left this house but once since coming home. I can't seem to get up and get moving.
I have boxes to mail, Avon to deliver but it is not in me.
I wake and want to just go back to sleep or just lie there.
I force myself up and make coffee and begin my moping.
I have to find peace and that will come through me and Christ alone.
He said, "Sure------ But first you have to act like a monkey."
She laughed and went into full monkey sounds and jumping with her legs bent and arms flapping.
We laughed and laughed.
She loved David as he always treated her like his own little sister and had no problem picking at her. He took a lot of calls that were meant for me, She always said, "Where is my Sister?"
He told her "Now you know she is out, you just wanted to talk to me. I am gonna tell."
Then the laughter began.
They too had great conversations.
But today, I want to know,
"Why is my Sister Gone?"
I now feel more alone than ever.
I have not left this house but once since coming home. I can't seem to get up and get moving.
I have boxes to mail, Avon to deliver but it is not in me.
I wake and want to just go back to sleep or just lie there.
I force myself up and make coffee and begin my moping.
I have to find peace and that will come through me and Christ alone.
So as I write this I am writing to ease my pain.
This is my Diary, my thoughts of pain and happiness and loss and despair.
DO you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there's a God who loves you
Where is He now
Maybe there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday somehow you'll see you'll see
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
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