Time to Celebrate

We all  know, at this time of year, I celebrate and recall the horror I went through.
Today, November 19 2012 is 10 years since I had Open Heart Surgery.

It began so many years ago, I had no idea my heart would go out. I had taken reasonably good care of my self, I had never smoked, I tried to exercise when I wanted to, I walked a LOT.
David and I covered all the areas around our homes in Happy Valley and Kinvarra in Redding.
We were told they were going to charge us Road Use Taxes because we walked so much.

So in 1994 when I was injured, I could not recoup. At one point the hospital gave me something for the headaches, it caused my chest to hurt really really bad. I mean really bad. I was calling nurses fast.
That was probably the last trip to ER. I did not trust them to follow up on what was happening.

Time marched on,
 In 1998, the doctors could not control my BP. Finally Dr. Jack said, "You need to be off work to get it together. I am putting you off for a while"
Yeah a while, That was the last day I worked at Montgomery Ward. March 8, 1998.
In March, 2000, they closed their doors, permanently.

Time marched on.
I was getting more ill all time. I hurt all over, My body was shutting down, I had horrible nightmares from (I am sure lack of blood supply to the brain). I was getting weird about everything. I could not lie down and put an eye mask on, I would wake in a panic, I felt myself drifting away. Deeper and Deeper into death.
I honestly did.
My chest hurt, My head hurt, I would vacuum and have to stop and rest, I would shower and have to stop mid way and lie down to ease the chest pain. I  was pretty concerned but Doctor said it was "Arthritis of the Breastbone'
Yeah Right!!!!
In March 2002, I was so sick all month. ALL MONTH. I could not get my feet, hands or nose warm, I lay in bed a lot, or lay with my feet almost in the fireplace. David warmed towels and wrapped my feet, I wore gloves inside, However I had no shirt on because my upper body was soaked in sweat.
It was the strangest thing I ever heard of.
Finally after no relief, I went to my doctor, He said, "Oh She has a weird Virus, I know her voice and it is weak" (This was after the PA was concerned about my clamminess)
Yeah Right Again!!!

At one point in time he put me on med so my heart did not beat so hard at night. I could feel it through the pillow and it hit the bed hard.
That medicine  helped save my life.
Another time he put me on tranquilizers because, "Sue Look at yourself, You need to calm down and  not worry so much"
That saved my life.
"You need to get out and exercise more." I was walking two plus miles a day., (when I felt like it,)
some days, I just could not make it to the end of the street. I   had walked so many years, I could not understand why my legs hurt, That should not happen, I would complain, "Honey my leg calves's hurt and they should not do that, I walk  all time"

So walk I  did,I was often walking over four miles, to the local park and back.( Kids Kingdom)
Some days I just wanted to lie down and not get up until  I was ready.
I helped put in a drip system in our back yard. I HURT!!! I stopped, I rested, I did it again, I Hurt, It was a vicious circle but I knew I had to keep going.

At times I felt as if my Heart turned over in my chest, it was a strange sensation. Like a fish fluttering in my chest. I would lie really still and see if I could pinpoint what was happening. No I could not.
the feeling was so foreign to me.
(Later I found out, that was my heart spasming to catch a beat)

I was in Trouble and I knew it, I knew I was going to pass away. I had given instructions to my Grandchildren, "If you find Me lying down and do not wake up, Call 911"
They knew, they went home and told my Daughter. I think I scared her a lot. She cried one day because she felt I was not getting anytihng done,
I  asked her. "I see doctors all the time, but no one is helping me, What else can I do?"
I am at a loss as to what to do."
She was Pregnant with our little ET at the time.

In July, I crawled out of bed, I walked into the office and said, "Honey I am really sick, I want to go to Arkansas and see my family one more time"
I had all arrangements made as to what I would wear when I passed. I gave him instructions to make sure I had an autopsy because something is bad wrong and no one is listening to me.
So we turned our business over to Sheri and We packed and left indefinitely. We just did it. Not really affordable but a necessary time for us.

As far as my lifetime  went, God had other plans.