Had to Think

I came home from work yesterday in a frenzy. I mean I was so upset two tranquilizers just did not stop my mind or my mouth.
I was UPSET.
I prayed a lot, I finally went to bed and woke today to relax. No I did not even jump in the pool, and it was well over 100 in Redding.
I made a country dinner, Purple Hull Peas and cornbread. YUMMY.

Today I spent a little time in tears, David tried to comfort me but I had to get all my frustrations and pain out.
I talked of my Daddy who passed away over 56 years ago. I missed him, and that is something I seldom do. I  could picture him in his overalls and hat. I could picture him as a young man, I wanted so much to go back to simpler times.
A time when I did not know of the bitterness or lying in the world. A time when My Mama and Daddy were my protectors and Nothing could touch me. No harm could come to me, because they would have to contend with the wrath of parents.
A time when fresh water would spring out of the ground for me, and I would drink from a Prince Albert Can.
A time when I could go to the river and just Be. No worries, No fights, Nothing but a kid jumping around in her Daddy's truck.

I talked of Jeanette and of Lou Ellen and I named each sibling and how their lives had touched mine. How they had in some way influenced me to be who I am, (Whether good or bad)
My Brother Harold  is a Jewel, He is so kind and so good. You know I hear people say,  of their own spouses and children, "He is the dad that did not have to be."
Harold is the ONLY person I know that fits that category. He adores  his son and now his grandsons. His life would be useless without those boys.
His son Michael is his in all aspect except by birth, He loves him so much and Mike returns the Love.

We talked of how much we loved each other and how Life is not Life without the other one. Oh we know we possibly will have to go on, should the other pass away but life would be different.
I can not imagine another person as Warm and gentle as David . He is my rock.

My kids know, Fessing up is better than the punishment you get once the lie is found out.
My Motto has always been, "Do it, Own it, Move on"

So today or now I am fine. My mind is clear and I can sleep tonight.
Yes other people can make your heart ache but mine aches for my loved ones.