My Brother

Harold Brown

I can not begin to tell you what he has meant to me, I am 20 months younger so he HAS ALWAYS been a part of my life until Monday June 9, 2014.

Let me begin by telling you a little about his character.
A character he was. Funny, Never, Never thought he was better than anyone, Always a giver, He was  generous with his time and anything he had.
Loved to hunt but Loved being a dad and grandpa more than any thing in the world.

When we are kids you never know how much that part of you is out there. That is "Just my Brother"

At the age of 12, I really took notice of Harold.
We were on the school bus, I was about 10.
The bus had dropped off a family of children, I think about 5 got off the bus. As they left the bus, I heard screaming, Their Dad was passed out by the wood cutting block,
The entire bus load of children  were looking and laughing. (I say not the entire as the Brown kids had seen their daddy pass out many  times,)
Rude comments proceeded out of lots of mouths, "Oh look at the old drunk, " He is so funny lying like that," Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha. The laughs could be heard by the kids that were let off the bus.

Suddenly I hear a young mans voice, over the din of laughter and mockery.

Harold Brown was standing in the middle of the aisle.

"Shut Up, Shut Up, That man is sick, Do NOT laugh or make fun of him, He does not even drink"

Oh my gosh, that bus quieted down, all you could see was Harold. You could have heard a pin drop on that bus, That day in 1957.
I was one proud sister that day.
To this day, I can still see the scrawny blond boy telling all ages to Shut UP.!!!

 Harold had a very Weak stomach. Mama often laughed at the men in our family being such Wimps. LOL as I say that lovingly.
We always raised our own pigs, They were fed food scraps in addition to their pig food.
Do not ask me what, as I never fed them. Why would I? I had 4 brothers to do that work,.

Harold  and Roy were supposed to feed the pig daily. As soon as Harold reached for the bucket he would begin gagging and heaving. He made it a few times, but came back vomiting.
Mama usually told Roy, "You go feed the pigs, I do not want to clean up after Harold too"
 Or as she said, (Slop the Hog).
He was always my big brother and NO ONE BETTER MESS with his little sister.
Yes I knew he would stand up for me.

When he was born, He cried all the time, He wanted to eat constantly. She often ran out of milk herself and had to resort to bottles.  He was NOT gaining weight.
One day as she was changing his diaper, Something emerged. It was a few inches long and trying to get back into the baby's rectum. Mama said, "The only thing I knew to do was pull, So I grabbed it and pulled, Praying it was not part of him"
It was a tape worm. Mama placed it in a jar for the Doctor to see when he made his "Horse and Buggy rounds"
The doctor never made it before the worm dried up.
Harold then began eating normal and gaining weight  but his first few weeks were almost all he had. Vital brain nutrition was lost to this horrible thing in this baby. The worm was attached inutero.

Harold  was always a great guy and that was all I knew.
He had his wild years, He grew into a wild teen but always had respect for others.

While  I was home in May, I sat on the arm of his chair and talked for about 30 minutes. We were literally face to face many times, as I put my forehead to his.
I looked down and saw the most beautiful Blue eyes, I did not know his eyes were that blue.
He was my brother, How many times, as a kid, do you notice the little things?
He and I cried and talked for a long while.
Harold told me, "Sue I have lots and lots of tears,"
I told him "Then let them go, Cry if you want to, I cry for you."
His blue eyes brimmed with more tears and we wept together.
He was horribly sick that day, but nothing was keeping him from being with his family. It hurt him to get out but he said, "I am gonna be here with my family"

I called him from Oklahoma,
He was hospitalized a day or so after I left. The 10th of May.  I was ready to return to Arkansas to be with him.
His response, "Sue, you get home to Kenny and those kids, they need you, I am going to be fine"
We talked a while but I could tell he was getting weaker.
I had my precious time with him and family. I am so proud I took my time with my family.
Nothing is more precious. I knew I would not see him again, until we all get to Heaven.

As I talked to him, (While he was in a coma), I sang "Amazing Grace" to him. I told him how much I love him, I know he heard me,.
May said, "A tear is rolling out of his eyes"
Oh How  my heart broke . I called him many times, after the coma, I always took my chance to say, One more time, "I love you brother, Please wait for me, Just  inside the Gates of Heaven"
The last time I called was on Saturday night, I told him, "Harold I am calling to say Goodbye, I will miss you. Tell my Mama and Daddy and family, I will see them soon."

I hung up for the last time and cried my heart out.
He was not in Gods hands. "Sheltered in the arms of God"