Coyote

My Coyotes back and there gonna be trouble.

Try to zoom in on him, He is beautiful. Lots of red in his fur.

I think he was looking for food, (smokey). Smokey had just ran into the pool area, he knew it was fenced so he was safe.

He just sat there and watched the monstor watch him.

John Denver "Leaving"

Oh Babe, I Hate To Glow

Remember the beautiful harmonies of Peter, Paul and Mary?
Let this tender ballad take you back to the days of peace and love...

All my bags are packed I'm ready to glow

I'm standing here Outside the door

With "Danger: Radiation!" on the sign

But the floor is covered And so's the phone

The doctors hover

They're ready to go

Already I'm so scared 'Bout R A I

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll call for me

Close the door, let's start this nuking show

'Cuz I'm stayin' in I-so-la-tion

Don't know when I'll be home again

Oh babe, I hate to glow

Now the time has come to leave you

Give me something sour to chew

I'll flush the john for-ty times day

Dream about the foods to come

Seafood, milk, and pizza, yum!

About the time I won't have to say...

Kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll call for me

This is gonna cost a bunch of dough

'Cuz I'm stayin' in I-so-la-tion

Don't know when I'll be home again

Glowin', from the treatment

(Glowin')Don't know if I can spit again

Glowin' from the treatment.....

OK maybe this is dark humor but I found it funny. There are lots more on a web site I found. I laughed and laughed.

Enjoy the song. Sung to the tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by John Denver.

Frizzy or Frazzeled.

I wish I could take a self photo. Today I look like Harpo Marx. (for you that don't know he is quite frizzy haired comedian and from the 60's).
My hair is growing fast since the last perm. Or is it the calcium.
(I take 2000 Mil a day) Maybe calcium, as I now have fingernails. As long as my nose does not grow I am OK. LOL MY daughter once told me calcium makes your nose grow too, since the nose is cartilage. (Brat)
I am pretty much layed back today and I have a backache.
Sorry, complain complain complain.

I take too many meds to sleep. I just can't sleep well lately. Yes, I stay in bed late. At night I lay there and try to sleep. I scoot over to David, wrap my arms around his sleeping body and he wakes to say, "I love you".
Then he is off to dreamland again. I finally get too warm and move to the cool side of the bed.
While He snores away. What a peaceful sound!
Does it sound like I love that man? Well I do and I think of him almost every minute I am alone.

Today I have to get out, we are out of Guess What? Milk. We are milk drinkers. When I buy, I buy 4 gallons at a time. It will last a week but that eliminates store running. I detest running to the store for anything simple like Milk or Bread. Of course we are out of quite a few items, one being Chicken. David is out of razors and Bananas. I need scissors and a scrap book post or several scrap book post. I need to add pages as we have three additions since the book was complete.

I have not driven my car in over a week, or is it two weeks, I bet it revs when I start it up as it is ready to go at a moments notice. LOL
(oh Mom and her Mustang).

So with that little bit of news I will close and find some breakfast I am very hungry.
(as I usually am in the mornings).

Just another day

Today David went back to work.
I finally got off my Heine and did a little cleaning. I could stand the dust no longer.
I want to go to town but I think I will nap instead. I am pretty wiped out from that cleaning job.
All I did was damp dust mop floors, clean the bathroom and fill soap dishes. Oh I also changed my bed. Big Deal.
That was it, so now I think I will prepare a great dinner for him.
We are such poor eaters.
For example yesterday, I thought I would make hot dogs and chili .
David drove into town, and broke the house rules. (When you buy one of something you buy two, things like cans of chili) Thank God he broke the rules. I could not stomach the chili and seeing my reaction he could not eat it either. LOL
We are quite a pair.
I have now stopped him from drinking out of soda cans. I made the mistake of telling him about the recent find. He seldom buys Pepsi and if he does it goes into a glass or cup. LOL
some time I wish I could eat like everyone else but I have such a weak stomach, it is a wonder I even eat.
Just give me a bowl of cereal and I am happy.
I cant believe the year is almost over. Wow where did it go?
The year brought us lots of changes in our lives.
Lets see where next year takes us.

2009 update to come.

IF

If I Only Had a Brain

I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers

Consultin' with the rain.

And my head I'd be scratchin' while

my thoughts were busy hatchin'

If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le,

In trouble or in pain.

With the thoughts you'll be thinkin'

you could be another Lincoln

If you only had a brain.

Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore.

I could think of things I never thunk before.

And then I'd sit, and think some more.

I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'

My heart all full of pain.

I would dance and be merry,

life would be a ding-a-derry,

If I only had a brain.

I watched the Wizard of Oz,.

when I heard this for the umpteenth time, I knew I had to find the words.

It is pretty catchy. I feel as if I have no brain sometime.

I do not want to make a decision.

Mama used to say, "Sue you are like an ostrich, Hide your head in the sand and let the world go by".

"Sue you are like a catfish, all mouth and no brains,"

You know in retrospect she was correct in both adages.

I had rather hide than face reality,,

I say, "OH it is OK, it does not hurt that bad", Or "What will it matter in 100 years"

Or I just talk and talk, My daughter told me this summer, "Mom you need to stop talking so we can get a picture".

OK I admit it, every time a snapshot is taken I have my mouth open.

So this is me, talking all time, (now squeaking a lot)

knowing tomorrow will come and all will be well.

Today as a Present

"Today is a gift, that is why we call it the Present."

And I love getting presents. Well actually I rather my friends and family save their present money and get themselves something from me. I find gifts a little embarrassing, I have all I need or want.
Well that is not exactly true. I need a breakfast bar in my kitchen, I have little counter space and a breakfast bar is so cozy. I need to get busy and clean my garage, pack up stuff, I am tired of some of my clutter. So as I lie around here my mind is a whir of activity.
I am working on my quilt blocks, (embroidered) and watching a lot of television.
Right now "The Wizard of Oz" from 1939. Beautiful.

My gift is the gift of one more day, One more time, One more sunset and I am satisfied.
I hope to hear from my oncologist this week, telling me what my options are.
Everyone that knows me know I will not sit this out, I will fight. I will not say I am sick.
My voice is still not strong. I want to sing but am afraid I will croak, so I will try that when David goes back to work.
I try but it goes squeaky and people think I have laryngitis.

I have no idea how far the cancer has spread, I am not sure the doctors even know.
I am believing it stopped at the one nodule it was in.
All I can be for sure is, I need your prayers.
I need to be out in the sun, digging in my garden, pulling weeds, cutting my grape vines back and purchasing a lot more for a grape orchard garden.
I firmly believe dirt running through your fingers is the best therapy there is.
I just have Faith. Faith to move those mountains. Strength to fight to the end, Love in my heart to know God is in control of all situations.
Some say, "So if you have that faith, why did you get cancer?"
Maybe it was to show my faith to others as I passed through this process.
I did have many opportunities to tell of my faith to several nurses and my Doctor knows I have very strong religious beliefs.
It was suggested I keep a journal. I think, if you don't mind, this will be my journal, good days and bad.
Trusting days and questioning days, Healthy days ,and days I just want to sleep.
I will have them all. I do have them all but I will hang in there.
I plan to dance at several weddings.
And Darlene told me, "You have to stay around to see what that new one grows up like, He has mischief in his eyes, They are full of wonder."
I totally agree, He is going to be a shining light, as they all are to me.
So again, Keep me in your prayers.

Love Grows

Today as we lay awake, we recalled Christmas mornings of the past. Past as in 50 or so years ago.

I recalled a day when there were eight children, and two parents in a two bedroom house, with a screened back porch, a living room and a kitchen. That was it! No indoor bathrooms either.It was a very small house but in my mind it was not that small, It held us all perfectly. I never recall feeling overwhelmed with lack of space. That was the way life was.

However I never recall those days with sad memories. I recall our house a flurry of activity, just prepping for the holidays ahead. Christmas being the most anticipated and the best day of the year.



I recall running in the front door,to the old cast iron wood heater, (the heater stood about 5 feet inside the room) to warm my hands and feet.

We walked about a 1/4 mile to the bus stop every morning and afternoon, rain or shine, snow or sleet. We walked. I always had golloshers and a rain coat. I had a rain hat and the Mittens.
I also had the ugliest brown socks you ever saw, Argyle, but they were bought to keep my legs warm. I always left the house with them up to my knees, only to reach the bus and roll them down into a donut at my ankles.

I hated mittens. OH how I hated those mittens. They did not allow for finger movement and Mama always left the ties on them and wrapped the tie around the neck of my coat and down through the sleeves, so when I pulled the mittens off, they were not lost. (You know like the three little kittens)

As a matter of fact I recall her quoting that to me as she buttoned and tied me up for warmth.



But when Christmas was comign, the house smelled of apples and oranges. An odor we did not have every day in our lives.

The house smelled of pies and fruit cakes. (My Mamas fruit cakes were edible) .

The smell of sage and cornbread permeated the very walls of the little house.



Today I missed that flurry of activity. It was too Quiet. I missed the smell of apples and oranges and finding the monkey heads (coconuts) under the Christmas tree. (MY Daddy called them monkey heads and would punch the eyes out and let us drink the coconut milk,) Never being quiet sure what was going to come out as daddy kept up the ruse about the coconuts being Monkey heads.

I missed the traditonal Christmas dinner. I had baked nothing, no cookies and poor David did not get his chocolates, That will have to come later.

I missed the shoes lined neatly across the old sofa, so Santa would know where to leave our presents. I missed the noise level reaching a high cresendo as the men donned their hunting gear to go out and shoot that eluvise buck or whatever it was they killed. (still don't get that).

As you can see I am not a hunter and neither are my husband or sons. Thank God.



But Those Christmas are the Christmas of my youth. I am older now and no longer line my shoes up beside my brothers and sisters. We have each built our own lives and began our own traditions.

We watched as our own children experience the wonder of Christmas and the Story of the Christ Child. We watch now, as our grandchildren learn the same stores and our traditions are carried on generation to generation.

We know they have many fond memories of Those many Christmas mornings when the phone in our bedroom would ring, they were calling from their room to wake us up.

They had to see what Santa had brought, They were building memories of their own. They were building memories to last their lifetime.



Today my son called and said, "Thank you Mom and Dad for all the Great Christmas you gave us, I now know just how much work it was, but I also have great memories of those days."

We say Thank you for becoming the adults you have become, may you never forget your history.

Time to Smile

There are times in our life when time stands still. When your heart wants to weep.

That time happened for me today.
As David walked into the house, He handed me a sheet of paper.
It felt as if my Heart skipped a beat. It was a Memorial page.
I had wondered for a few months, (when I did payroll) What had happened to Rosa? I assumed she had returned to school. I had known of her doing that over the last 8 years. (leave work for a while to take classes)
Rosa was a sweet, quiet wisp of a girl. Rosa was 27 years old.
I often called Red bluff to inquire of something regarding payroll and she and I would chat, for a minute. Never any length of time.
I just knew she was there and polite and always with a smiling, happy voice.You could hear joy in her voice.
Rosa and I crossed paths many times but mostly in phone conversations.
However when you do not hear that voice for a while, or you miss seeing her time sheets cross your desk, You wonder and think of her and pray everything is OK in her life.

Rosa passed away in August. I recall doing her payroll August 1st.
That was the last time.
I often thought of asking if she had returned to school but was always TOO BUSY.
Now I am angry at the fact that I did not take the time to ask.
Time, Time, if only we had more of it. Would we use it wisely?

On her Memorial, A poem was published. A poem, Rosa wrote in her senior year.
I would like to take this opportunity to remember Rosa, a sweet, quiet, Happy to be alive young girl. One who embraced life. Rosa worked until July the 31st. That was the last check I cut for her. I pray she knew how much she meant to me, I never took the time to tell her.

"Life is Full of Changes, A Rose Bush"

Rosa Castorena

8-27-1982

8-23-2009

Life is full of change, not knowing what will come,

Living at its best, standing healthy and strong.

Wet or dry, the sun shining down, birds and bees flying all around.

Falling to the ground, waiting to get picked up.

The whistling of the wind, fighting for the best, surviving all the worst,

planted once again.

Growing to the top, reaching up high, high as the sky,"

Blooming different colors, smiling at one another."

I pray each of you read this poem and take the time, to say "I love or appreciate you, It can mean so much."
Rosa died of a brain tumor. She had been treated for several years but this time, it came back she was unable to fight. She was so tiny and so tired. She never showed it to the people that walked into the Copy Center in Red Bluff. She never lost the beautiful smile.
Rosa, you are missed.

Hospital Stay

I want to tell you of a patient that was admitted to my room about 4 in the morning.
I was in Isolation, because of my prior germ.
I saw them get the bed ready, I watched closely to see what was going on. I thought, "This is going to be OK".
As they wheeled her in I heard MRSA. Yes, she had full blown MRSA.
That freaked me out. She was pretty well doped up. I was worried, I knew that is not something you want to deal with. So why put her with me, I have not had an active case in 7 months.

However let me go back to the beginning of my stay this time.
As I was being placed in Pre surgery room, (in isolation) and prepped. I made the statement, "I do not get this I do not have active MRSA, it has been several months." The nurse pulled out the Lab report from my last stay.
She said, "Yes you do, it is active and colonized in your nose".
I guess you can say I was mortified. They could have blown me over with a feather.
How is that,?I feel fine, Why? So they explained and brought paperwork for me to study.
All I could see was the image of me sitting in a chair, holding Kian and playing with the babies, (several times the last few months.)
I was so sick at that idea.
However I do not give it to them but being a person with the germ, they can give me ANYTHING. My system will not fight it.
That is why I have hand sanitizer n my kitchen and beside my bed.
If I push for hand washing I have a reason. You can give me horrible germs, and I can get really sick.
So back to my roommate.
I was so angry, How dare them put someone that sick in my room I have an open surgery sore.
I bet you know I washed in hot water, used the hand sanitizer if I touched anything. I made sure everything I touched was sterile. I even used paper towels dipped in sanitizer to roll my IV around the room. I guess you can say I was paranoid.
When I questioned the nurse about my room mate, he said, "She is really tightly bound." Nothing is exposed."
The MRSA is in her private area and according to her nurse it is a raging infection. They had her in ER and lanced the area, then moved her upstairs. She had no idea what was going on, and when they told her, she would immediately ask again.
She also was kept pretty much under sedation.
That is why I pushed so hard to go home on Friday.
When I got ready to go, My feet began to tingle. They were miserable.
My doctor told me to be aware of that, as it can mean a low calcium level. If it happens I was to return to ER and request a blood test.
As my nurse came in with my paperwork I told her what was happening. I was wishing I had not. My release was halted until blood work was complete.
I then became a little panicked. As the time wore on I looked at David and began to cry, Cry uncontrollably. I think the last few weeks hit me like a ton of bricks.
My lip was shaking I was so upset.
One I wanted to go home, I was afraid of my room mate, I did not want to spend the rest of my life watching my blood levels. I did not want cancer. I cried and cried.
David came over and hugged me, He wept too.
It all hit me at once and I could not stop the flow of tears.
Suddenly the nurse came in and said, "Blood calcium is perfect". Then she saw the tears, When she asked was I OK? They began to flow again.
I told her how I felt and she assured me it was going to be fine. I knew that, I think I just needed to vent and accept the fact, another obstacle has crossed my path.
I will make it through it with God holding my hand.
Yes I did get to come home. Man was I one happy person,
All I could say was Thank You God!!!
Oh the tingle in my feet, Nerves and apprehension and back from lying in That horrible bed for that many days. Seemed forever but it was only two days and one night.

So Thankful

Last night as I lay in my hospital bed, I was not sleeping. I may have slept one hour total, just cat napping. .
About 2 AM I went to the restroom, (I was the only patient in the room.)
Suddenly as I headed back to my bed, I noticed the big windows. I began the trek back to the bed but something stopped me. I looked out the window!
There before me lay Redding. All the lights were so beautiful, It was as If God lite up the night for me. For me to take in his beauty of the night. I recall the sky as dark blue, The lights from multiple Christmas trees were twinkling all over town.
I moved closer to the window, and suddenly to my immediate right I saw it.
A Big Beautiful Christmas Tree on the roof of the hospital. I was on the 3 rd floor on the north wing. The tree was on the roof of the 3rd floor East wing.
The tree can be seen from all points in Redding.

Christmas lights lite up the night sky and as tears streamed down my face.
I was in awe of the beauty just outside my window.
I stood and Thanked God for the opportunity to view the tree and the beautiful star.
I thanked him for the guidance to to to the window, the willingness to follow my heart.
I thought of that night so long ago when a single Star led the wise men to the Manger.
The tree a symbol of the Tree that Jesus hung on as an atonement for our sins and transgressions.
By his stripes we are healed. I hold that promise to my heart.

After a few minutes, I made my way back to the bed, Adjusted my curtains and bed position, and enjoyed the beauty. I lay there and smiled at the night. My heart and soul rested. Peace came into my room, because I knew he was still there. There to hold my heart and spirit.

You know in the midst of all our trials, there is beauty and joy if we look for it.

Often it is on the same level as we are, we just have to step aside and look RIGHT and UP.
Step aside, Let God take control. He will guide our hearts.
Faith is something no one can take away. It is ours to keep. My faith is strong. I will not be moved.

I turned on my bedside radio, God was speaking to me with each song, he knew my heart and what I needed to hear.
The first was by Kutless, a Christian Rock group. I love this song. It makes me think of my faith and the many mountains I have seen move.

What Faith Can Do

by Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes and make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache

You think it’s more than you can take

But you are stronger, stronger than you know

Don’t you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn’t ever end

Even when the sky is falling

And I’ve seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard

Impossible is not a word

It’s just a reason for someone not to try

Everybody’s scared to death

When they decide to take that step

Out on the water

It’ll be alright

Life is so much more

Than what your eyes are seeing

You will find your way

If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn’t ever end

Even when the sky is falling

And I’ve seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do

HOME

Need I say more???

Happy Birthday

My little girl is 39 today. She is Mama to four beautiful children, their teacher, a librarian, a wife, a darn good cook, a keeper of the home.
She has all the attributes of a Mom and Wife.

I vividly recall the day she was born, So Tiny, only 6lb 2 oz. Wanting to sleep, (she was three weeks early) but when she woke up, she woke up with a bang.
She knew her place in the family and rather enjoyed it, being the only girl, and being the baby and knowing how to get her brothers in trouble.
While doing all this she also learned, "Pretty girls sit quietly and wait for attention when in public."
She did learn early on to sit and take in the world and make of it what she wanted.
Her imagination took her on many journeys. She wrote little short stories, She wrote notes to us, I have a few I ran across the other day while clearing out old cards.
They brought back sweet memories of a little curly haired girl with a smile to melt your heart. A child that truly loved her surroundings and her family.
One to crawl up in your lap at days end, just to cuddle.
So Happy Birthday Princess.

Attached are two items she gave us while she was quite young,. One about 7 years old. The birthday card was filled with jokes from Readers digest and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Readers Digest is and was one of my favorite books.

The other is a story she wrote for class. Her imagination soared.

That is what we loved so much about her We never knew what she was going to do or write next. We have a pile of notes she wrote us.

My Personal favorite was a pity party note. "Hi this is nobody, if anybody cares I am in the car, but I am no body."

It was a cute note and we had many laughs about it, Of course we went to the car to hug and say "We love you".

Happy Birthday again Princess.

Memories.

I am sure you all have heard of my Christmas when I had a visit from St. Nick.
You heard of the one where we were snowbound in Joseph City Arizona in the record setting snowfall. 1967
So many have passed and so many memories.
Christmas is a special time of year, a time for remembering old friends, remembering family, remembering life does go on.
A time to renew all we have in our hearts for our fellow man.
Not for ourselves. I can think of nothing I want for Christmas, I have it all. I have my family, both near and far. I have the love of my life. What more could I want?

I will now tell you of a Christmas that was not so great. It turned out great but life was a series of ups and downs, when my Daddy's life was almost over.
It was 1956, The day had been fruitful, trip to the court house square, visiting with cousins and aunts and uncles, Hoping for the little man in the red suit to come on by.
Earlier in the evening, we had gone to visit my Aunt Sylvia, (my Moms sister).
There was a new item on the market. We called them pop beads, You could make your necklace or bracelet any color and length you wanted.
Ann (my older cousin about 15 years old) had been popping hers a lot, It got on my aunts nerves. Finally she reached up and pulled them off of her and they rolled across the floor.
My Dad was devastated.. (he did not know they were made to pop apart)

He got up and walked out with tears in his eyes.
He could never stand to see a child hurt and Ann had a defeated look on her face.
Mama went after him, She could not find him, Any upset and he could have a major heart attack. We knew the last one could come any time.

We all piled in the old car, all eight children and we drive down the road, looking for him.
Finally we found him about a mile away, he was walking home.
As he got in the car he cried and cried. He said, "Why did Sylvia have to break that kids necklace, she wasn't hurting anyone.
Mama explained they were called Pop Beads and made to come apart. Ann was fine and at this point had her necklace back together. Daddy was visibly relieved.
We drove back to their house , Daddy apologized and invited them over to our house.
We then sat and played games, ate food, and the adults discussed the days events.
I do recall peeking around the corner several times to see if it was still OK. I had to see that he was still there. Mama was still there and working hard to made us kids at ease.

Daddy was embarrassed but his emotions were always on edge.
I was scared, I just recall being so frightened of my Dad leaving us.
A child does not understand all the adult things that go on. They just see their world falling apart. I recall a lot of times, thinking one of them was going to leave us, That would not happen, but "I was just a kid, a kid with normal fears, fears that no one could understand."
Possibly this is the first time I talked of this event. We had many of them.
But my Daddy was spending his last Christmas with us. (we did not know that but that Christmas stays embedded in my mind)
He wanted it to be good for everyone.
He died less than three months later, in March 1957.
I still miss him and his tender heart. I still remember he did Love us although the years and heart disease had played a cruel trick on his mind.
So even though that Christmas started out good, went to scary, it ended up with Santa at the window and Daddy back in his easy chair holding my Mamas hand.
It all ended well.
My Mama was a trooper I do not know how she handled all the world put on her back, but she did it with grace and dignity and was very respected by all who knew her.
Only God could control her life and she let him, often wanting to take the reins herself but never letting him go from our lives, or thoughts.
I miss the Old Fashioned Christmas. But lives have changed, I am older now, not the 10 year old child, but the 63 year old child. A child at heart with the memories of a lifetime.
Have a Very Merry Christmas.

Pennsylvania

Man that word comes up a lot lately. It came up while Ken and Kris were here. We were playing trivial pursuit. That word brought back fourth grade memories. Memories which I shared while the rest of the gang wanted me to play.
I have never been there but part of my body is there.
Yep, they sent the biopsy to a lab there. All I can find, that is highly technical, is a Navy lab.
Wonder if that is the lab??
Anyway I still have no news about the biopsy. The local pathologist can not determine.
Or I am so unique they want everyone to look at the thyroid. Heck I don't know.
The doctor says it appears to be follicular in texture. ???????
However he again stated "most of the follicular ones are usually benign."
Well not from what I read but who am I to know this stuff?
He said he does not want to go back in, I agree whole hearted. I do not want him back again, Once was quite enough, Thank You.
My neck is sort of sore still, Not bad, but certain movements are painful. I have a bottle of pills put away in case of more problems. I had to take one last night as it felt like I had a sore throat. Nothing major.
OK on the other stuff.
I heard yesterday that Redding's Rescue mission does not have enough blankets. That has prayed on my mind since I heard it, If I had the money I would buy a few to donate. I can not stand the fact that someone may be cold or hungry.
It seems there is a homeless person on every street cornet, Holding their signs, "Cold, Hungry, Out of Work, House burned down, Kids need food, vet, home from war," you think it, the sign is there.
All manner of signs and my heart aches for them. I just have nothing to give right now and I nearly always give a dollar or so, however right now you could donate at every signal in Redding.I just cant afford to do that. I will however clean out my cupboard and freezer and take in what I have to donate. Not a lot but I think it is better than handing them to people on the street.
Hey did you know? There is a Secret Santa in the south.? Kansas City Kansas.
They are giving away 100 dollar bills to people on the street. This year they will also be in Tulsa, Parts of Texas.KLove named a few cities but the ad caught my attention. Wow to be able to do that would be amazing. The original secret Santa passed away and he left his mission to someone else. In his life time he had given away over a million in 100 dollar bills.
You may be handed more than 100, They do give out stacks of 100 dollar bills, According to the circumstances. All they ask is "you do something good for someone else. Like a hug or a smile. "
WOW. I am impressed.
Oh to be a secret Santa for a day.
After all I believe in Miracles and I believe in Santa.

What to do with Myself

I am pretty bored but my eyes want to shut a lot. (sleepy) I think the stress of the last few weeks is working its way out of my body.
I sleep so peaceful with sweet dreams.
I think I must have needed all this sleep or I would not be doing it.After noons I make dinner and clean the kitchen and I am sewing on my quilt top blocks.
So I am not idle. Hungry though!!! I am so hungry lately. I am eating way too much, I better have that thyroid checked, It may be giving me problems. Three pound gain this week and it has barely started. Yikes, I cant do that. Weight gains affect my blood sugar. It will all stabilize soon, I am sure. (IT BETTER)
David is doing good. He was not in good spirits last night. Not sure why but he was sort of grouchy.
When we went to bed, he said he felt anxious. I knew he did because of his curt answers to me, He is not like that as a rule. Maybe he is just overwhelmed with these hospital and doctor bills.
Or maybe he is worried about the outcome of my biopsy. I have to say, I am not. Not concerned. I feel it is going to be OK.
Regardless It will be OK. Faith, that is faith. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for Evidence of things not seen"
You do not always have to see it to know it is real. Like Air, it is real but you can't see it. Wind, it comes and goes, but it is not seen, only evidence of it.
So on to better things.
I see my ENT surgeon tomorrow, He will go over the lab results with me, In addition my neck feels fine. I seldom need anything for discomfort. It does hurt a little but I can live with that pain. Sort of like a sore throat that goes to my ears. The back of my neck on the left hurts the worse. Not sure why that is.
Anyone have good ideas as to what we should do on Christmas? We are at a loss. We do not even feel like it is Christmas, No presents to buy, no tree to decorate, (I would have to undecorated it) No little ones to hug, Maybe we can go to the shelter and serve. I would love that. I take food there all time, but maybe I can help out more this time, Maybe bake a dozen or so pies.
Hummm sounds like a good plan.
They feed thousands of homeless or destitute people every holiday, in addition to the ones they feed on a daily basis.
So much to be Thankful for. So I best not have a pity party with no tree to put up.
That would be just too much work for me at this stage in my surgery.

Night in the Hospital

Could be something like " Night at the Museum. "


I, as I said, did not sleep, I think it was after 3 AM before I slept at all.
Why??
One, I had a roommate. She had surgery and her pillow would inflate and deflate every ten seconds. I counted the seconds. I lay there and figured out how many times I could hear that in a minute, then an hour, then for twelve hours and even 24 hours.
I know, I know I am pitiful. I was counting the seconds as they passed. YIKES!!!!
She was on my right.
On the left was the nurses station with lights on, right in my eyes, All night long.
Another patient had problems, He acted like he had Alzheimer's. Poor Guy.
All night long he said, "Hey Doc, Doc, would you get me a towel so I can have a shower?"
Doc, Doc will you do that for me?"
He begged for a shower, He called his "Doc" He called out to any name he knew in his past life.
But he did not one word of profanity. They usually do.
He had a big booming voice. He talked all night. I would put my headphones on but they helped very little, since you can not lay on your side with a head piece on.

You know, when you have something minor like I had, you appreciate all you do have. Especially when you see so many less fortunate than yourself.
I could get up, go to restroom on my own, wash up, close my curtains, whatever.
However I could not walk the halls. Why??
Because they had me on a MRSA list. I was quarantined. My roommate was on the list too. Now I am clearing it off my record. I have to have three clear swabs then my record will be clear. I think I have a test every two weeks. I will see my doctor about that. The hospital started the testing.
My ENT specialist thought it was ridiculous. So did I. I am shut off from walking or visiting while there but I can go anywhere I want when I leave the hospital grounds.
Go Figure.
I have not had MRSA since May. and then it was a fluke. I am sure it was spider bites and dirt.
Today I am trying to catch up on things but bed is calling me again. I am pretty tired so I rest a lot.
I will sew when I feel like setting for any length of time. Right now it can wait.
Our shopping is done, the kids were all given money to shop with and we are done, done.
David and I will be here and may go out to eat. We have not decided yet.
Gifts, we are not doing, Tree is not going up, I thought about a couple of topiary by the front door but that would involve work and I am not up to work.
Today the sidewalk is iced over, The water was left on (sprinkler system) until yesterday and it is so cold, it did not thaw all day yesterday and today I still see ice on the walk.
So if you come over, please be careful.
Burrr it is cold, only 28 when I got up at 8 o'clock.

How well did You Do

These are the answers to Name that Tune. Sorry I was so late in posting but I have been sort of busy.




1. White Christmas
2. Chestnuts Roasting over an Open Fire
3. All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth
4. O Holy Night
5. It came upon a Midnight clear
6. O Come All Ye Faithful
7. Away in a Manger
8. Deck the Halls
9. The Little Drummer Boy
10. We Three Kings
11. Silent Night
12. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
13 Santa Claus is coming to Town
14. Let it Snow
15. Go tell it on the Mountain
16. Rudolph the Red Noses Reindeer
17. What Child is This
18. Joy to the World
19. Hark the Herald Angels Sing
20. The Twelve Days of Christmas

Faith

Sometime it is hard to just rely on your faith. I have great faith in the power of prayer and healing.
Some say it is purely chance. NO WAY. It is Faith in things hoped for, substance of things unseen.
I went through the surgery this week, Thursday to be exact. The ENT removed the left lobe of my thyroid only. It is still unclear if Cancer is involved. I say NOT.
I will know this week sometime. I am not calling to find out, I will wait until I go in for my appointment.
I am not overly anxious to hear this anyway.
I am not sure I can go through another surgery, this one was pretty bad on my heart. I woke in excruciating pain.
Before I left the hospital my Cardiologist ran a couple of test. NO Heart attack, (Thank God ) He seemed to think it was the stress of the past few weeks. I am inclined to agree.
However if I have this pain again, I am to call and he is admitting me for further test.
This pain was like no other I have had EVER. But I agree, I have been pretty stressed and hid it until I woke up.
(that's me, pick up troubles after the battle is won).
He is a good (great) doctor and I trust his opinion. He does not get overly excited about things and he just trust my judgment on my health.
All I wanted to do was go HOME. That is the best medicine for me. HOME.
Especially since I sleep most of the time, since coming home. That is OK, Anyone that knows me know I do not do this often.
I am giving in to my body saying, Sleep, Sleep. Actually it feels kind of good to sleep in such peace. IN my own warm bed in my own room with my KLove playing on the Radio.
God Bless each of you and Thank You for your prayers.

It Can Only Happen to Me

With all the pain of the last few days I did have a few laughs too.

To begin, I removed my red, down, silk, throw pillow covers. (that is a big description).
I had to wash them. (they needed it after four years)
As you know by previous post, down is hard to work with, plus I had a few feathers thrown in for good measure.
I had feathers on the bed in the back bedroom. I recovered the pillows with heavy quilting batting.
I then put the fresh covers on. Needless to say, I had feathers on the floor, bed and literally everywhere.
I took the bed covers to the washer and cleaned everything up. It looked great.
In this wash I also added a few more whites to finish the load. ( I usually do that).
IN this wash I had underwear.
That is where it gets interesting.
While packing for the hospital, I grabbed about three pair of undies, dropped them in the suitcase and away I went, Never thinking of feathers.
As you know the hospital wants you to measure your urine, after surgery.( to be sure everything is working properly)
On my second trip to the bathroom I noticed something weird in the little hat looking measure.

Was that a Feather I saw???

No it was two feathers. I began laughing.
I left it for the nurse, they check for color etc.
As I went to my bed at 2 in the morning, I was still laughing when she came in.
I told her, "I am not sure but I think I am peeing feathers"
She responded with "What is that?"
She went in to look and came out laughing, saying, "Well that is a first, A Patient that pees feathers."
I then explained about the pillow work, and we figured they were hung in my undies.
So we had a few laughs in the middle of the night. After all I was not sleeping.
Who can sleep in a hospital? Not me, unless I am under anesthesia.
Then not such a good sleep.
As I said, this can only happen to me. I do everything so fast I take no time to check things out thoroughly.

Photos

Mamaw and Baby Kian, see those paint splattered jeans, See that smile? I am one happy Mamaw.
Kiara loves to swing, we spent about an hour outside, walking, swinging, and picking up acorns, It was a magnificent day.

M do you remember? Probably not you were only three when I bought that for you, You wore it to Moms 30th birthday party.
Kiara loves it.




Man that ice cream is COLD, Leila keeps shoveling it in though. She LOVES ice cream. So cute!!!



I Love the photo of Papaw and Leila He had a beautiful memory holding her hand. Brought back his younger years as Dad not papaw.


This is me and my Love, Don't you just love the honest smiles? Real Love and Devotion.



Jarod with his haul of acorns, That kept the kids busy for about an hour. Plus Mamaw got to crawl around on the ground with them.


Man I do not want to ride again, I must be ticked.
OK I may be off in my titles, One is of Me and Ken, my baby boy, Oh I just remembered I have none of Kris on this, I will fix that. LOL She did not like the photo that was taken, Sorry Charlie.



Beautiful Caylum, Oh I mean handsome. He is such a light to us. Always smiling, Oh he is about to lose two teeth, wonder if that will affect his big open mouth smile. I hope not.

Name That Tune Followup

OK how many participated? Looks like Sheri was the only one. SO FAR!!!!!
Answers are not coming yet. Just write yours down, and I will post tha answers later.
Hey it gives me something to do.

Pre Op

Today I go in for my pre-op. Thursday I go in for surgery. I will be fine. David will call when he gets home, he can not deal with the cell phone. He probably wont know how to answer it. Or I can call. (LOL LOL LOL)
My thyroid has to go, go , go. This is no big deal. I can live quite nicely without it. After all I have been on medication for several (15) years.
The size of the growth has my doctor concerned. Instead of mm in size it is CM in size. It has changed the shape of my thyroid, and it is hard calcium.
He said if I were his Mom he would do the same thing. (I am old enough to be his Mom). Sweet Doctor that he is.

Now is it Cancer? They will not know until they have it in the lab. For the beginning they are removing the left side only, once it is tested, (if the lab says it definitely is cancer) they will immediately take the right side out.
Why definitely? If the lab says, "It appears to be cancer," they leave the right side alone, but once all the test are complete and it turns out cancerous, they go back in after a week or so and take the other. However and this is big. I requested Redding Medical (or what ever its name is now). When I said that, they said, "Good they have the best pathology lab, they have several tiers they can check".
I also requested it because they took such good care of me when I had open heart surgery.
Another big reason, my cardiologist is just across the parking lot.
So see I have it all under control.
Again I am not concerned. I think I will be fine, after all Cancer has never been a scare in our family. NOT at All, but I can guarantee you what is. HEART DISEASE.
I will miss talking, I know I will, I keep thinking of things to say, ALL THE TIME!!! LOL I Bet that surprises my children. NOT..
Not that it will be for long, I may be pretty raspy for a while like a week or so, so what do I do.
Got it!!! (Per Jeanette my baby sister. )
First I buy a HUGE writing tablet, and Different colored balls. When I want Davids attention I write what I want, throw a ball at him and hold up my sign.
Red means EMERGENCY, (I want it now) Green means, Take your time, Yellow Means Caution. He can't hear me most of the time now. Lord what is that week going to be like? I will have to just keep my mouth shut.
So with all that in mind. Just keep us in your prayers. David will be on one side and My God will be on the other.